Re: [Rift] AD review through (but not including) section 4 draft-ietf-rift-rift-17
Antoni Przygienda <prz@juniper.net> Sat, 06 May 2023 05:35 UTC
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From: Antoni Przygienda <prz@juniper.net>
To: James Guichard <james.n.guichard@futurewei.com>, "draft-ietf-rift-rift@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-rift-rift@ietf.org>
CC: "rift-chairs@ietf.org" <rift-chairs@ietf.org>, "rift@ietf.org" <rift@ietf.org>, James Guichard <james.n.guichard@futurewei.com>
Thread-Topic: AD review through (but not including) section 4 draft-ietf-rift-rift-17
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Date: Sat, 06 May 2023 05:35:19 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Rift] AD review through (but not including) section 4 draft-ietf-rift-rift-17
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From: James Guichard <james.n.guichard@futurewei.com> Date: Friday, 5 May 2023 at 20:13 To: draft-ietf-rift-rift@ietf.org <draft-ietf-rift-rift@ietf.org> Cc: rift-chairs@ietf.org <rift-chairs@ietf.org>, rift@ietf.org <rift@ietf.org>, James Guichard <james.n.guichard@futurewei.com> Subject: AD review through (but not including) section 4 draft-ietf-rift-rift-17 [External Email. Be cautious of content] Dear authors, Please find a partial AD review for draft-ietf-rift-rift-17. This review covers sections up to, but not including, section 4 of the document. Note that I have used the idnits output for v-17 so that you can easily find the relevant line numbers. 168 1. Introduction 170 Clos [CLOS] topologies (called commonly a fat tree/network in modern 171 IP fabric considerations [VAHDAT08] as homonym to the original 172 definition of the term [FATTREE]) have gained prominence in today's Jim> I am not sure that the text in () adds much value to the text and I would simply state that "Clos [CLOS] topologies have gained etc..." and remove the text in (). Prz> Questions arose when things were done and people ran around with jelly fish/dragonfly and other animals claiming those would take over the world 😉 IMO good old style of peer reviewed papers to give folks some minimal bootstrap and acknowledge previous work. 173 networking, primarily as result of the paradigm shift towards a Jim> add 'a' between 'as' and 'result' above. 174 centralized data-center based architecture that is poised to deliver Jim> I would remove 'based' from the above 184 requirements, RIFT addresses those challenges not through an Jim> expand RIFT on first usage. 195 resolved or even cause partial network partitioning and this has to Jim> is there such a thing as partial network partitioning? its either partitioned or it is not. I would remove 'partial'. Prz> fair 197 described in Section 4.2.5 and is basically based on automatic, Jim> remove 'basically' from the above text. 201 The protocol does further provide: 203 * optional fully automated construction of fat tree topologies based 204 on detection of links without any configuration (Section 4.2.7) 205 while allowing for conventional configuration methods and 206 arbitrary mix of both types of nodes as well, Jim> I do not understand the last part of the above paragraph. Do you mean a mix of ZTP and non-ZTP nodes? Prz> yes 208 * minimum amount of routing state held at each level, Jim> you introduce level here but assume the reader knows what level you are discussing. Suggest to add 'of the topology' or 'of the IP fabric' to the end of the sentence to make it clearer what you are talking about. Prz> probably should do something like this, or maybe say “CLOS level” and make sure in glossary it says it’s equivalent and “level” is a shortcut word. Fair point. 229 Figure 1 presents as first example of operation a simplified, 230 conceptual view of the resulting information and routes on a RIFT Jim> insert 'database' before 'information' as the figure is showing both database information and routes. 231 fabric. The top of the fabric is holding in its link-state database 232 the information about the nodes below it and the routes to them 233 whereas the notation A/32 is used to indicate a loopback route to 234 node A and 0/0 is the usual notation for a default route. First row Jim> I do not think the blurb about A/32 and the default is necessary. Simply end the sentence at 'and the routes to them.'. No need to explain what 0/0 means. 235 of information represents the nodes for which full topology Jim> it took me a while to figure out what information you were referring too in this text. Perhaps start the sentence with 'Referring to Figure 1, the first row represents database information and shows the nodes for which etc.'. You can then remove the text 'of the database table' from the next sentence. 279 2. A Reader's Digest 281 This section should serve as an initial guided tour through the 282 document in order to convey the necessary information for any reader, 283 depending on their level of interest. The glossary section Jim> it is actually the 'Terminology' section so should say this rather than glossary. Prz> yes 287 The indications of direction (i.e. "top", "bottom", etc.) referenced 288 in the Section 1 are of paramount importance. RIFT (Routing in Fat Jim> remove 'in the' from the above sentence. Also no need to expand RIFT here as already did so in introduction (see previous comment). 352 reader as it outlines how the RIB and FIB are built via the Jim> Expand RIB and FIB on first use. 376 3.1. Terminology Jim> General comment for this section. The entries should be in alphabetical order. 564 Valid LIE: 565 LIEs undergo different checks to determine their validity. The 566 term "valid LIE" is used to describe a LIE that can be used to 567 form or maintain an adjacency. The amount of checks itself 568 depends on the FSM involved and its state. A "minimally valid 569 LIE" is a LIE that passes checks necessary on any FSM in in any Jim> remove the additional 'in' from the above text. Expand FSM on first use. Prz> fair Juniper Business Use Only
- [Rift] AD review through (but not including) sect… James Guichard
- Re: [Rift] AD review through (but not including) … Antoni Przygienda
- Re: [Rift] AD review through (but not including) … Jordan Head
- Re: [Rift] AD review through (but not including) … James Guichard
- Re: [Rift] AD review through (but not including) … Jordan Head