Re: [Roll] [roll] #168 (admin-local-policy): Editorial comments

peter van der Stok <stokcons@xs4all.nl> Tue, 16 December 2014 10:41 UTC

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Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 11:41:20 +0100
From: peter van der Stok <stokcons@xs4all.nl>
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Subject: Re: [Roll] [roll] #168 (admin-local-policy): Editorial comments
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Hi Joel,

I think the editorial issue is addressed by taking over the suggestions 
by Adrian Farrel.

_____


"MPL" is not a well-known abbreviation so we need to expand it:
- in the document title
   OLD
        MPL forwarder policy for multicast with admin-local scope
   NEW
     Forwarder policy for multicast with admin-local scope in the
      Multicast Protocol for Low power and Lossy Networks (MPL)
- in the Abstract
   OLD
    The purpose of this document is to specify an automated policy for
    the routing of MPL multicast messages with admin-local scope in a
    border router.
   NEW
    The purpose of this document is to specify an automated policy for
    the routing of Multicast Protocol for Low power and Lossy Networks
    (MPL) multicast messages with admin-local scope in a border router.
- in the third paragraph of the Introduction
   OLD
    The admin-local scope must therefore be administratively configured.
    This draft describes an automated policy for the MPL forwarding of
    multicast messages with admin-local scope within a border router.
   NEW
    The admin-local scope must therefore be administratively configured.
    This draft describes an automated policy for the Multicast Protocol
    for Low power and Lossy Networks (MPL) [[I-D.ietf-roll-trickle-mcast]
    forwarding of multicast messages with admin-local scope within a
    border router.
----

Greetings

Peter

roll issue tracker schreef op 2014-12-16 00:23:
> #168: Editorial comments
> 
>  From: Joel M. Halpern <jmh@joelhalpern.com>
>  Date: 2014-12-16 0:59 GMT+02:00
> 
>      I believe that MPL In the title should be expanded.  It should 
> also be
>  expanded upon first use within the document.