[Roll] AD review of draft-ietf-roll-terminology-11.txt
"Adrian Farrel" <adrian@olddog.co.uk> Sun, 03 March 2013 20:03 UTC
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From: Adrian Farrel <adrian@olddog.co.uk>
To: draft-ietf-roll-terminology@tools.ietf.org
Date: Sun, 03 Mar 2013 20:03:37 -0000
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Cc: roll@ietf.org, roll-chairs@tools.ietf.org
Subject: [Roll] AD review of draft-ietf-roll-terminology-11.txt
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Hi, I have done my usual AD review of your document prior to advancing it towards publication. The purpose of my review is to catch issues or nits that would be found during IETF last call or IESG review and which might delay the processing or hide other issues. The intent is to remove the issues efficiently at this stage. As usual, all of my points are open for discussion. I have found a number of relatively minor nits and small questions. Given the volume I think it would be worth producing a new revision. When I see the new version I will start the IETF last call process. During IETF last call, I will be bringing this I-D explicitly to the attention of several key working groups in other IETF areas so that they can consider alignment of terminology. Thanks, Adrian --- s/A LLN/An LLN/ throughout --- Remove the 2119 boilerplate and the reference to [RFC2119] --- Decide on capitalisation of "Low power and Lossy Networks" and apply it uniformly throughout the document. --- Section 2 Actuator s/modulates/modulate/ --- Section 2 Commissioning Tool s/expressed purpose/express purpose/ --- Section 2 Downstream / Upstream Are you convinced that these terms apply only to data entering / leaving the LLN at the LBR? They do not apply to traffic within the LLN? Although I see you use "inwards" in the definition of "MP2P". --- Section 2 Field Device s/A field deviced/A field device/ --- Section 2 Field Device Low power and Lossy Network Border Router (including LBR) Is this right? Isn't a Low power and Lossy Network Border Router exactly an LBR? --- Section 2 Field Devices compared to computers and routers used in the Internet. I know what you mean, but I think an LLN is part of the Internet. So maybe... compared to computers and routers used outside of LLNs. ...or... compared to computers and routers used in the rest of the Internet. --- Section 2 Non-sleepy Node Non-sleepy Node: A non-sleepy node is a node that always remains in a fully powered on state (i.e. always awake) where it has the capability to perform RPL protocol communication. I think that the specific reference to RPL is wrong in the context of this document. You may mean "perform routing protocol communication" or you may mean "perform communication". --- Section 2 P2MP You use the term DAG without explaining it. You either need to add it to the terms (maybe DAG Root is more useful) or change what is written for P2MP. --- Section 2 RPL Domain Fine, but no explanation of RPL. Since RPL is also used elsewhere in the document, I suggest you add an entry for RPL with a citation. --- Section 2 RPL Domain Since someone is bound to ask what a RPL router is... Best add an entry. --- Section 2 Sensor s/a analog/an analog/ --- Section 2 Sleepy Node Sleepy Node: A sleepy node is a node that may sometimes go into a sleep mode (i.e. go into a low power state to conserve power) and temporarily suspend protocol communication. A sleepy node may also sometimes remain in a fully powered on state where it has the capability to perform RPL protocol communication. This doesn't quite make sense. You are using "Sometimes remain", I think to contrast with "sometimes go into a sleep mode". I think it is enough to say "When no in a sleep mode, the sleepy node is in a fully powered on state...." Additionally, is the only issue "to perform RPL protocol communication"? As for non-sleepy node you may mean "perform routing protocol communication" or you may mean "perform communication".
- [Roll] AD review of draft-ietf-roll-terminology-1… Adrian Farrel
- Re: [Roll] AD review of draft-ietf-roll-terminolo… JP Vasseur (jvasseur)