Re: [RTG-DIR] Rtgdir telechat review of draft-ietf-mtgvenue-iaoc-venue-selection-process-12

[Eliot Lear <[e-mail]>]

Hi Stewart,

I will let Pete or Charles address other comments.  As to these:


On 05.02.18 11:04, Stewart Bryant wrote:
>  A description of how reconsideration currently takes
>    place is found in <https://iaoc.ietf.org/meetings-
>    committee/documents/IETF-VenueSelectionID-
>    ContingencyPlanningFlowChart-2016.pdf>.
>
> SB> Maybe it is my finger trouble, but I could not access this
> rather unfriendly multi-line URL. I get a 404 error, and when I
> edit the URL to remove the %20s that show up in my browser
> I get "authentication required".

I confirm that this is a problem, and I have contacted the IAOC and AMSL
to see what can be done about it.

> Editorials/Nits:
>
> In the abstract the terms IASA and IAOC should be spelled out. This is part of
> a wider problem of the various I* abbreviations that are scattered through the
> text not being particularly user friendly. It would be helpful to the reader to
> provide a small glossary early in the text.

I would prefer that we not create a glossary.  I will leave to the RFC
Editor to help me on style with expansions, if that's okay.
>
>  ====
>
>  o  It MUST be possible to provision Internet Access to the Facility
>       and IETF Hotels that allows local attendees to utilize the
> SB> When I first read this I though you meant local as in those
> SB> who live in the country, but I think you mean those at the facility.
> SB> Clarification may be useful.

I think this becomes clear in the following sentence.
>
> ====
>
>    o  There are sufficient places (e.g., a mix of hallways, bars,
>       meeting rooms, and restaurants) for people to hold ad hoc
>       conversations and group discussions in the combination of spaces
>       offered by the facilities, hotels and bars/restaurants in the
>       surrounding area, within walking distance (5-10').
>
> SB> I imagine you mean 5-10 minutes not 5-10 feet.

I've expanded this out in my working copy.

>
> ====
>
>    o  Overflow Hotels can be placed under contract, within convenient
>       travel time of the Facility and at a variety of guest room rates.
> SB> s/of/to and from/
>

Ok.

These changes are in my working copy.  Whether there will be a new
version prior to proceeding to the RFC Editor is not my call but the
AD's.  In any case, I will see that they are addressed.

Eliot