Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mboned-deprecate-interdomain-asm

Tim Chown <Tim.Chown@jisc.ac.uk> Sun, 22 December 2019 09:54 UTC

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From: Tim Chown <Tim.Chown@jisc.ac.uk>
To: Loa Andersson <loa@pi.nu>
CC: "<rtg-ads@ietf.org>" <rtg-ads@ietf.org>, "rtg-dir@ietf.org" <rtg-dir@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-mboned-deprecate-interdomain-asm@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-mboned-deprecate-interdomain-asm@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mboned-deprecate-interdomain-asm
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Date: Sun, 22 Dec 2019 09:54:09 +0000
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Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/rtg-dir/rUtZKP4Zy69zcmR1tWDmtFcV87o>
Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mboned-deprecate-interdomain-asm
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Hi,

Many thanks for the review, comments in-line...

> On 22 Dec 2019, at 09:44, Loa Andersson <loa@pi.nu> wrote:
> 
> <snip>
> 
> Minor Issues:
> 
> There is a document from the RFC Editor, RFC 7322 "RFC Style guide".
> These guidelines should be followed, e.g. the "Requirement Language
> should be moved into the body of the document, normally section 1.1.

Will do.  It seems RFC 7322 recommends a separate section 2 for this after the Introduction.

> Someone (AD) should think about if the requirement language is needed in
> this Informational document. A "MUST" is used when outlining what
> draft-ietf-6man-rfc6434-bis does. but it is not really a requirement
> from this document. I'm split about this and could go either way.

Perhaps put MUST in “”s in 4.2?  

> Also the new template should be used for 2119 language.
> 
> MLDv2 (or MLD) is not a well-know abbreviation and needs to be expanded.

Will do.  I think the RFC Editor would pick this up, but we can minimise their work :)

> IGMPv3 is well-known, but IGMPv3 is not. Beats me what is required,
> but in such cases I always recommend expanding.

Not sure what you mean here.

> "
> Nits:
> 
> I wonder about this in section 3.1"
> 
> "... has become widespread in common OSes for several years (Windows,
> MacOS, Linux/Android)..."
> 
> Should we say:
> 
> "... has become widespread in common Operating Systems for several years
> (Windows, MacOS, Linux/Android)..."

Can do.  

> Other style issue:
> 
> Sometimes IGMPv3 / MLDv2 is used
> 
> At other places IGMP/MLD or IGMPv3/MLDv2, I think we should use one
> or the other.

In some places, like 4.2, it is generic IGMP/MLD, but there are others where we should make it more specific, like 3.2.3.

Tim

> Nits tool has two issues, these are addressed in the Shepherd Write-up,
> poimting out that updates
> 
> 
> /Loa
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -- 
> 
> 
> Loa Andersson                        email: loa@pi.nu
> Senior MPLS Expert
> Bronze Dragon Consulting             phone: +46 739 81 21 64
>