[sacm] ROLIE Software Descriptor Review

[Jessica Fitzgerald-McKay <[e-mail]>]

I reviewed version -06 of this ID. It looked very good to me. What follows
is mostly a long list of nits, in which I quibble over Stephen's use of
commas.
I'm happy to discuss any of these suggestions. Once these revisions are
made, I think this document is ready for WGLC

Header
-The authors' place of work could be listed as "NIST" (as it is in other
I-Ds and RFCS) to avoid the current craziness in the header information

Section 1
- The sentence " Software descriptor information is information that
characterizes static software components, packages, and installers;
including identifying, versioning, software creation and publication, and
file artifact information." doesn't flow well, in my opinion. I would
revise to "Software descriptor information is information that
characterizes static software components, packages, and installers;
including identification, version, software creation and publication, and
file artifact iinformation."

- What does "smaller state space" mean?

- "ROLIE Feeds" is used before it is defines. I wonder if these are
use cases for ROLIE Software Descriptor Information, and "ROLIE Feeds"
is unnecessary here.

- "Value added information" sounds like a marketing term. Maybe you
can just say checklists or assessment requirements?

- The bulleted section that begins "End user organizations" has a
misplaced comma. I think you were trying to separate multiple "and"
statements. Perhaps the first "and" should become "as well as" to make
this section more clear.

- The bulleted section that begins "Organizations can use" has an
unnecessary comma, "thru" should be "through", and expand RIM.

Section 2

- I think it is worth pointing to definitions of words like "Entry" or
"Feed" in whichever RFC they are defined.

Section 3

- Drop "This" at the beginning of the second sentence

- While I agree with your second sentence, I wonder if we can back it
up. Is there a source for this information?

- In the third sentence, I think that a device can have a secure and
managed OS and still not have good representation of the other
software on the device.

- Expand SWID on first use (which is actually in the Abstract, I just
noticed it when I got to Section 3. I think you could make the
argument that you don't want to make the abstract longer than
necessary, and so choose to expand it here, though)

- drop comma in first sentence, second paragraph, between "format" and
"expressed"

Section 4

- last sentence first paragraph requires no commas

- in the list of things software-descriptor information can do, the
first two items in the list begin with full sentences. The remaining
item, as well as all the items in the non-exhaustive list below it,
start with a sentence fragment. I personally prefer the style that
begins with the sentence fragments, and suggest editing items one and
two to match that style

 - bullet that begins "Version and patching information" is incomplete

- bullet that begins "Vendor or source information" -drop the word "from"

- bullet that begins "descriptive information and data"- expand the acronym OSs

- The two paragraphs after the non-exhaustive list both start out
asking the reader to note something. Maybe more appropriate for the
first of these paragraph than the second.

Section 5.1

- I can't be sure, but I think there's an extra space between "As
such" and the following comma

Section 6.1.1

- spacing is inconsistent within the bulleted list

Section 6.1.2

- second bullet drop "as" in "as per"

- in the SWID Tag Entry requirements list, second bullet, drop "for"
in "This allows for"

- in the SWID Tag Entry requirements third bullet, "this field aids
ROLIE consumers in search and filtering Entries" doesn't flow well.
Maybe "This helps ROLIE consumers search and filter entries"

- in the SWID Tag Entry requirements fourth bullet, "it's" -> "its"


Section 6.2.1

- second sentence, "This provides" -> "CBOR provides"

- third sentence, "It provides" -> "COSWID provides"

Section 6.2.2

- second bullet, "as per" -> "per"

- in the COSWID Tag Entry requirements list, second bullet, drop "for"
in "This allows for"

- in the COSWID Tag Entry requirements third bullet, edit to "This
helps ROLIE consumers search and filter entries"

Section 7

- Why are these relationships required if they are only used in edge
cases? Alternatively, why not create registries for all required
elements of the format?

- Maybe I do not fully understand what you mean, but the sentence
"These relations come in related pairs" seems odd. I think "related"
is unnecessary, and I cannot tell if "relations" should be
"relationships".

- the chart would be easier to read with more whitespace between the
descriptions, as well as an ascii indicator of which pairs go together
(I know, it is obvious, but readability is a thing)

- in description of "patches vulnerability", "are describing" -> "describes"

Section 9

- second paragraph, "should have been" -> "should be"

- fourth paragraph, "utilized" -> "used"

Section 10

- why no link in SWID tag reference?