[secdir] draft-ietf-v6ops-rfc6146-bis-11 telechat Secdir review

[Peter Yee via Datatracker <[e-mail]>]

Document: draft-ietf-v6ops-rfc6146-bis
Title: Stateful NAT64: Network Address and Protocol Translation from IPv6
Clients to IPv4 Servers Reviewer: Peter Yee Review result: Has Nits

This draft is update to RFC 6146, which deals with NAT64. I didn't find there
to be any security concerns that weren't already handled by the existing
Security Considerations. The addition of the DNSSEC consideration was helpful.
There are a few nits that could be handled, but nothing major. [Ready with Nits]

Major concerns: None

Minor concerns: None

Nits:

General:

Change "behaviour" to "behavior" since most of the other language usage in the
document is American English.

There are a lot cases where "stateful NAT64 translator" is used without an
article ("the" or "a"). I started to list these, but the list was longer than I
felt worth typing in. Consider adding articles. Also, once (in Section 8.2) the
name "stateful NAT64 translator function" was used. Perhaps drop "function" to
go along with rest of the usage in the document.

There are a few cases where the serial comma is not used (although mostly it
is). Search for "TCP and" or "TCP or" and append a comma after "TCP" to catch
most of them.

Specific:

Page 5, 1st paragraph: change "preceding paragraph" to "preceding bulleted
list".

Page 5, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert "some" before "new".

Page 6, 2nd bullet item: append a comma after "e.g.".

Page 13, "Filtering, Address-Dependent", 3rd sentence: change "for receiving"
to "to receive".

Page 21, 2nd bullet item: insert "itself" before "from".

Page 22, section 3.5, 2nd sentence: change "May" to "It may".