Re: [secdir] [regext] Secdir last call review of draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration-09

<           From: Russ Housley via Datatracker
<           Date: 2019-03-09 13:24
<           To: secdir@ietf.org
<           CC: draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration.all; ietf; regext
<           Subject: [regext] Secdir last call review of draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration-09
<           Reviewer: Russ Housley
<           Review result: Has Issues
<           I reviewed this document as part of the Security Directorate's ongoing
<           effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG. These
<           comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Security Area
<           Directors. Document authors, document editors, and WG chairs should
<           treat these comments just like any other IETF Last Call comments.
<           Document: draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration-09
<           Reviewer: Russ Housley
<           Review Date: 2019-03-09
<           IETF LC End Date: 2019-03-15
<           IESG Telechat date: unknown

Thanks for your kind review.

<           Summary: Has Issues
<           Major Concerns:
<           If this document is going to be published on the IETF Stream, then the
<           IANA registrations should point to the IESG, not the document authors.

We will update it. IANA registrations will point to the IESG.

<           Minor Concerns:
<           Section 2: Please update the first paragraph to reference RFC 8174
<           in addition to RFC 2119, as follows: 
<           The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL NOT",
<           "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "NOT RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and
<           "OPTIONAL" in this document are to be interpreted as described in
<           BCP 14 [RFC2119] [RFC8174] when, and only when, they appear in all
<           capitals, as shown here.

Thanks, will update it. 

<           Nits:
<           The document has many grammer errors. For example, the first paragraph
<           of the Introduction has three things that need to be corrected:
-          s/which has identical/which have identical/
-          s/labels(LABEL)/labels (LABEL)/
-          s/(V-tld);/(V-tld)./
<           In addition, there are several places in the document with arbitrary
<           extra white space. For example, in Section 8, it says:
<           <!--
<           Child elements of the <b-dn:create> command
<           All elements must be present at time of creation
<           -->
<           Please correct the grammar and eliminate the extra white space.
<           Ins Section 7.2.2, some of the lines in the examples do not begin
<           with "S:". Please correct.
<           _______________________________________________

Thanks, we will have a detailed review and update it in the new version.

Jiankang Yao

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