Re: [secdir] Review of draft-ietf-netconf-4741bis-07

"Bert Wijnen \(IETF\)" <bertietf@bwijnen.net> Tue, 08 February 2011 10:06 UTC

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From: "Bert Wijnen \(IETF\)" <bertietf@bwijnen.net>
To: "Tina Tsou" <tena@huawei.com>, <secdir@ietf.org>
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Date: Tue, 8 Feb 2011 11:06:06 +0100
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Cc: Netconf <netconf@ietf.org>, iesg@ietf.org, draft-ietf-netconf-4741bis@tools.ietf.org
Subject: Re: [secdir] Review of draft-ietf-netconf-4741bis-07
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Tina, thanks for your review and comments

All comments together are being considered by the editors and possibly will
result in a new revision.

We'll keep you updated. But I believe you are also on our netconf wg mailing 
list,
so you'll see it there too.

Bert Wijnen
Document Shepherd


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tina Tsou" <tena@huawei.com>;
To: <secdir@ietf.org>;
Cc: <iesg@ietf.org>;; <draft-ietf-netconf-4741bis@tools.ietf.org>;; 
<ietf@ietf.org>;
Sent: Tuesday, February 08, 2011 3:05 AM
Subject: Review of draft-ietf-netconf-4741bis-07


>I have reviewed this document as part of the security directorate's ongoing
> effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.  These
> comments were written primarily for the benefit of the security area
> directors.  Document editors and WG chairs should treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
>
> It is well written, so only some editorial comments are below.
>
> #1
> "
> 2.2.  Authentication, Integrity, and Confidentiality
> ...
> 2.3.  Authentication
> ...
> "
>
> Perhaps the Titles of 2.2 and 2.3 can harmonize better to explain why there
> are two "authentications" here.
>
> #2
> "
> 6.2.  Subtree Filter Components
>
>   A subtree filter is comprised of XML elements and their XML
>   attributes.  There are five types of components that may be present
>   in a subtree filter:
>
>   o  Namespace Selection
>
>   o  Attribute Match Expressions
>
>   o  Containment Nodes
>
>   o  Selection Nodes
>
>   o  Content Match Nodes
> ...
> "
>
> If a figure could be provided to describe the relationship among these 5
> components and when it becomes what, it would be very helpful for readers to
> understand more easily.
>
> #3
> "
> 6.2.3.  Containment Nodes
>
>   Nodes that contain child elements within a subtree filter are called
>   "containment nodes".
>
> I would say "Child Elements Nodes" or "Child Nodes" might be a little bit
> more of straight forward than "Containment Nodes".
>
>
> #4
> "
> 7.2.  <edit-config>
> ...
> Parameters:
> ...
> merge:  The configuration data in the <config> parameter is
>            merged with the configuration at the corresponding level in
>            the target datastore.  This is the default behavior.
> ...
> "
> Has the <config> parameter been introduced before?
>
>
> Best Regards,
> Tina TSOU
> http://tinatsou.weebly.com/contact.html
>
>
>
>