Re: [sipcore] 4244bis-05: editorial comments

Shida Schubert <shida@ntt-at.com> Thu, 16 June 2011 05:30 UTC

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From: Shida Schubert <shida@ntt-at.com>
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Date: Thu, 16 Jun 2011 14:29:57 +0900
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To: Hadriel Kaplan <HKaplan@acmepacket.com>
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Cc: "draft-ietf-sipcore-rfc4244bis@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-sipcore-rfc4244bis@tools.ietf.org>, "SIPCORE \(Session Initiation Protocol Core\) WG" <sipcore@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [sipcore] 4244bis-05: editorial comments
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Hadriel;

 Thanks, we will reflect this on the next revision. 

 Regards
  Shida

On Jun 16, 2011, at 4:51 AM, Hadriel Kaplan wrote:

> Following are editorial comments on 4244bis-05 in WGLC...
> 
> 1) Page 8, section 5 first sentence: "REFER and OPTIONS, PUBLISH and SUBSCRIBE, etc." get rid of the first "and".
> 
> 2) Page 8, section 5 first bullet: "A mandatory parameter for...", change "parameter" to "field", since hi-targeted-to-uri is a header field not a parameter.
> 
> 3) Page 13, Figure 1 caption isn't on the same page as the figure itself.  There's an extra whitespace line below the 'Proxy Cancels INVITE' double-arrow in the drawing which can be remove so that the caption fits on the same page as the figure.
> 
> 4) Page 16, Section 9.3, end of section: "(e.g., 1.2 and 1.4 could but present..." should be "...could be present...".
> 
> -hadriel
>