Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 as Standard Track, closed by 27 June 2018
Sheng Jiang <jiangsheng@huawei.com> Wed, 27 June 2018 03:59 UTC
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From: Sheng Jiang <jiangsheng@huawei.com>
To: Softwires WG <softwires@ietf.org>
CC: "softwire-chairs@ietf.org" <softwire-chairs@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 as Standard Track, closed by 27 June 2018
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Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2018 03:59:45 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 as Standard Track, closed by 27 June 2018
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As the document shepherd, I have reviewed this document. Document editors and WG chairs should treat these comments just like any other last call comments. In general, I think this document is in a good shape. The YANG model is well defined and clearly described. Here are some minor issues, mostly editorial, although there is 1 error report by the IETF Yang validation tool. It should be easy to be fixed, I blieve There are some minor comments below, most of them are editorial. Section 2.1 It may be better to add the statement names in the description of choice statement: a choice statement 'ce-type' is included for ... a choice statement 'data-plane' is included to ... "For each module, a choice statement is included for either 'binding' or 'algorithmic'." But in Table 1 it is 'algorithm'. Maybe 'algorithmic' should be changed to 'algorithm'. Section 2.2 The reference to Appendix A.3 should be Appendix A Section 3.1 "for all of the softwire mechanisms listed in Section 1" It may be bette to avoid self citation and just list the mechanisms here. "Figure 1 describes the tree structure of the CE softwire YANG module" It's better to unify the terminology as "Softwire CE YANG Module" Section 3.2 In the paragraph of "softwire-path-mru:": It's confusing here whether the MRU is for IPv4 or IPv6. There are two "br-ipv6-addr" defined. It may be better to add different prefixes or suffixes into the names, but I'm also OK with the current names. In the paragraph of "ce-binding-ipv6-addr-change:": "binding-ipv6-address" is not defined in the whole document. It should be explained. Section 4.2 "in Figure 1" should be "in Section 3.2" "for logging/data retention purposes" -> "for logging or data retention purposes" "between 3-tuples, which contains the lwB4's IPv6 address..." -> "between 3-tuples: the lwB4's IPv6 address..." "softwire-num-threshold" >From the description, I think it may be better to rename it to "softwire-num-max". In the paratraph of "invalid-entry, added-entry, modified-entry:": "the client" -> "the NETCONF client" Appendix A.1 "lwB4 IPv6 Address: 123" What's the "lwB4 IPv6 Address" here? Appendix A.2 "for the clients" -> "for the CEs" Appendix A.3 The same "lwB4 IPv6 Address" issue And the PSID and PSID offset should be provided in the example. Cheers, Sheng From: Softwires [mailto:softwires-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Sheng Jiang Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2018 5:44 PM To: Softwires WG <softwires@ietf.org> Cc: softwire-chairs@ietf.org Subject: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 as Standard Track, closed by 27 June 2018 This email announces a Softwire Working Group Last Call (WGLC) on: Since both chairs of softwire WG are the co-authors of this document. I am now acting as the document shepherd for this draft. YANG Modules for IPv4-in-IPv6 Address plus Port Softwires draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 This draft is intended to become a Standard Track RFC. This WGLC will run through the end of the day on Wednesday, June 27, 2018. Comments should be sent to the softwires@ietf.org<mailto:softwires@ietf.org> list, although purely editorial comments may be sent directly to the author. No IPR disclosures have been submitted directly on draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 Regards and thanks, Sheng Jiang (document shepherd)
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… mohamed.boucadair
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… Sheng Jiang
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… Qi Sun
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… Linhui Sun
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… Sheng Jiang
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… Andy Wingo
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… Sheng Jiang
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… ianfarrer
- [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 … Sheng Jiang
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… mohamed.boucadair
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… ianfarrer
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… ianfarrer
- Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang… Sheng Jiang