Re: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 as Standard Track, closed by 27 June 2018

[Sheng Jiang <[e-mail]>]

As the document shepherd, I have reviewed this document. Document editors and WG chairs should treat these comments just like any other last call comments. In general, I think this document is in a good shape. The YANG model is well defined and clearly described.
Here are some minor issues, mostly editorial, although there is 1 error report by the IETF Yang validation tool. It should be easy to be fixed, I blieve

There are some minor comments below, most of them are editorial.

Section 2.1
It may be better to add the statement names in the description of choice statement:
  a choice statement 'ce-type' is included for ...
  a choice statement 'data-plane' is included to ...

"For each module, a choice statement is included for either 'binding' or 'algorithmic'."
But in Table 1 it is 'algorithm'. Maybe 'algorithmic' should be changed to 'algorithm'.

Section 2.2
The reference to Appendix A.3 should be Appendix A

Section 3.1
"for all of the softwire mechanisms listed in Section 1"
It may be bette to avoid self citation and just list the mechanisms here.

"Figure 1 describes the tree structure of the CE softwire YANG module"
It's better to unify the terminology as "Softwire CE YANG Module"

Section 3.2
In the paragraph of "softwire-path-mru:":
It's confusing here whether the MRU is for IPv4 or IPv6.

There are two "br-ipv6-addr" defined. It may be better to add different prefixes or suffixes into the names, but I'm also OK with the current names.

In the paragraph of "ce-binding-ipv6-addr-change:":
"binding-ipv6-address" is not defined in the whole document. It should be explained.

Section 4.2
"in Figure 1"
should be "in Section 3.2"

"for logging/data retention purposes" -> "for logging or data retention purposes"

"between 3-tuples, which contains the lwB4's IPv6 address..." -> "between 3-tuples: the lwB4's IPv6 address..."

"softwire-num-threshold"
>From the description, I think it may be better to rename it to "softwire-num-max".
In the paratraph of "invalid-entry, added-entry, modified-entry:":
"the client" -> "the NETCONF client"

Appendix A.1
"lwB4 IPv6 Address:          123"
What's the "lwB4 IPv6 Address" here?

Appendix A.2
"for the clients" -> "for the CEs"

Appendix A.3
The same "lwB4 IPv6 Address" issue
And the PSID and PSID offset should be provided in the example.

Cheers,

Sheng

From: Softwires [mailto:[e-mail]] On Behalf Of Sheng Jiang
Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2018 5:44 PM
To: Softwires WG <[e-mail]>
Cc: [e-mail]
Subject: [Softwires] WGLC for draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04 as Standard Track, closed by 27 June 2018


This email announces a Softwire Working Group Last Call (WGLC) on:



Since both chairs of softwire WG are the co-authors of this document. I am now acting as the document shepherd for this draft.



YANG Modules for IPv4-in-IPv6 Address plus Port Softwires

draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04

https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04



This draft is intended to become a Standard Track RFC.



This WGLC will run through the end of the day on Wednesday, June 27, 2018.



Comments should be sent to the [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]> list, although purely

editorial comments may be sent directly to the author.



No IPR disclosures have been submitted directly on

draft-ietf-softwire-yang-04



Regards and thanks,



Sheng Jiang (document shepherd)