Re: [Softwires] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel-04

Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Wed, 12 June 2019 15:35 UTC

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From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
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Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2019 11:35:11 -0400
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To: mohamed.boucadair@orange.com, Dale Worley <worley@ariadne.com>
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Subject: Re: [Softwires] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel-04
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Dale, thanks for your review. Med, thanks for your response. I entered a No Objection ballot.

Alissa

> On May 6, 2019, at 3:49 AM, mohamed.boucadair@orange.com wrote:
> 
> Dear Dale, 
> 
> Thank for the review. 
> 
> Please see inline.
> 
> Cheers,
> Med
> 
>> -----Message d'origine-----
>> De : Dale Worley via Datatracker [mailto:noreply@ietf.org]
>> Envoyé : lundi 6 mai 2019 04:22
>> À : gen-art@ietf.org
>> Cc : softwires@ietf.org; ietf@ietf.org; draft-ietf-softwire-
>> iftunnel.all@ietf.org
>> Objet : Genart last call review of draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel-04
>> 
>> Reviewer: Dale Worley
>> Review result: Ready with Nits
>> 
>> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
>> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
>> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
>> like any other last call comments.
>> 
>> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>> 
>> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>;.
>> 
>> Document:  draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel-04
>> Reviewer:  Dale R. Worley
>> Review Date:  2019-05-05
>> IETF LC End Date:  2019-05-07
>> IESG Telechat date:  [not known]
>> 
>> Summary:
>> 
>>       This draft is ready for publication as a Standards Track RFC.
>> 
>> Nits/editorial comments:
>> 
>>   Editorial Note (To be removed by RFC Editor)
>> 
>> This section is a great idea.  I haven't seen this usage before.
>> 
>>   Please update the "revision" date of the YANG modules.
>> 
>> This sentence doesn't say what to update the revision date to.
>> 
> 
> [Med] The revision date will be updated with the publication date of the (future) RFC. The RFC editor is used with that. 
> 
>>   1.  Introduction
>> 
>>   This document specifies the initial version of the iana-tunnel-type
>>   YANG module identifying tunnel interface types.
>> 
>> This could be made more specific, e.g.,
>> 
>>   This document specifies the initial version of the iana-tunnel-type
>>   YANG module containing a collection of IANA maintained YANG
>>   identities identifying tunnel interface types.
>> 
> 
> [Med] OK.
> 
>> --
>> 
>>   2.  IANA Tunnel Type YANG Module
>> 
>>   The initial version of the module includes tunnels types defined in
>>   [RFC4087], [RFC7856], [RFC7870], and [RFC6346].
>> 
>> s/tunnels types/tunnel types/
>> 
> 
> [Med] Fixed.
> 
>> Should this mention the provenance of IP-HTTPS, which is in none of
>> these RFCs?
> 
> [Med] This is already covered by the "reference" clause. 
> 
>> 
>>     identity iphttps {
>>       base ift:tunnel;
>>       description
>>         "IP over HTTPS (IP-HTTPS) Tunneling Protocol.";
>>       reference
>>         "Microsoft Corporation, IP over HTTPS (IP-HTTPS) Tunneling
>>          Protocol Specification,
>>          https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/dd358571.aspx";;
>>     }
>> 
>> This type's reference doesn't appear in the list of references.
> 
> [Med] That is on purpose because otherwise that reference will need to be called out in the core text. 
> 
>> 
>>   3.  Security Considerations
>> 
>>   These identies are intended to be
>>   referenced by other YANG modules, and by themselves do not expose any
>>   nodes which are writable, contain read-only state, or RPCs.
>> 
>> Logically, this is correct, but I think it would read better if
>> s/contain read-only state/contain readable state/.
> 
> [Med] I will leave the initial wording. 
> 
>> 
>>   4.1.  YANG Module
>> 
>>   The name of the "identity" is the same as the corresponding
>>   enumeration in the IANAifType-MIB (i.e., IANAtunnelType).
>> 
>> This should be "... is the lower-case of the corresponding enumeration
>> ...".
>> 
>>   "base":        Contains the name assigned to the tunnel type, in
>>                  lowercase.
>> 
>> The description of this item should be "Contains 'ift:tunnel'.".
> 
> [Med] Good catch. Thanks. 
> 
>> 
>>   6.2.  Informative References
>> 
>>   [TUNNELTYPE-IANA-REGISTRY]
>>              Internet Assigned Numbers Authority, "tunnelType
>>              Definitions", <https://www.iana.org/assignments/smi-
>>              numbers/smi-numbers.xhtml#smi-numbers-6>.
>> 
>> Given that this document specifies substantial interaction with this
>> registry, this reference should be normative.
> 
> [Med] We used to have this one as normative but we received comments asking to move it informative. I will leave this one to the AD. 
> 
>> 
>> The title of this reference cannot be "tunnelType Definitions",
>> because that text does not appear in either the referenced URL or the
>> IANA assigned numbers index (https://www.iana.org/protocols).  The
>> title of the entire web page is "Structure of Management Information
>> (SMI) Numbers (MIB Module Registrations)"; the title of the section
>> that is referenced is "Internet-standard MIB -
>> mib-2.interface.ifTable.ifEntry.ifType.tunnelType", which is a
>> subsection of the section titled "ifType definitions".  There is no
>> reference to the section from the IANA assigned numbers index.
>> 
>> Comparing with this passage from section 4.1
>> 
>>      They must instead be respectively added to the
>>      "tunnelType" sub-registry (under the "ifType definitions"
>>      registry).
>> 
>> suggests the title "ifType definitions:  tunnelType" may be in
>> informal use.
> 
> [Med] I went for: s/tunnelType Definitions/ifType definitions: tunnelType 
> 
>> 
>> [END]
>> 
> 
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