Re: [Softwires] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel-04
Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Wed, 12 June 2019 15:35 UTC
Return-Path: <alissa@cooperw.in>
X-Original-To: softwires@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: softwires@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 57AA2120156; Wed, 12 Jun 2019 08:35:16 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.701
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.701 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_LOW=-0.7, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=cooperw.in header.b=fGD2jM63; dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=messagingengine.com header.b=sQ74zNgB
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id MC7hRKK4uO_Y; Wed, 12 Jun 2019 08:35:14 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from wout5-smtp.messagingengine.com (wout5-smtp.messagingengine.com [64.147.123.21]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher AECDH-AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 2E498120154; Wed, 12 Jun 2019 08:35:14 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from compute7.internal (compute7.nyi.internal [10.202.2.47]) by mailout.west.internal (Postfix) with ESMTP id 2937646C; Wed, 12 Jun 2019 11:35:13 -0400 (EDT)
Received: from mailfrontend2 ([10.202.2.163]) by compute7.internal (MEProxy); Wed, 12 Jun 2019 11:35:13 -0400
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=cooperw.in; h= content-type:mime-version:subject:from:in-reply-to:date:cc :content-transfer-encoding:message-id:references:to; s=fm3; bh=l Y10VVxZ4OuHN7ue4rHkoeuoOdQ+LZdsNMwAthPHXaI=; b=fGD2jM63tXgdHG+Tn OlFYXWCvDqxmJr/xpZf9uuGd/5g4wbbNcXVjEJ53tzj29nfFJ5h0A/RhoeW0wucl O4FwHhISK8nukB0H4UgKE4DIALsXTB8LZcGqEfpiKB4/V+Hu5eXiKaE0vUCA6ilW TAXEO+7grvHvA0N52yhcEW/wuWQrPa7m8DegXFDKcvkE3+BNylntzYc52PUZouIf RCx9L5FjQTZMQAyuxn6uUel9eEQMoKCKueP1IemHk+KSVl1Q3UiRaQbcT1DJb3IH EDTfiZmQeHAvBlKqMsGO2hYMHh6bv+ZYfVaQFKUsAB+EraUZL5NkK4IJzMUV0uM3 abZ2A==
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d= messagingengine.com; h=cc:content-transfer-encoding:content-type :date:from:in-reply-to:message-id:mime-version:references :subject:to:x-me-proxy:x-me-proxy:x-me-sender:x-me-sender :x-sasl-enc; s=fm3; bh=lY10VVxZ4OuHN7ue4rHkoeuoOdQ+LZdsNMwAthPHX aI=; b=sQ74zNgBHwcFhboaElYZmKec5oIh6QFMRG3cnxSSyGtMAGWjbM0jU0Ppa ux2U0VYflwTuaFimjsijPl3u58IcLLw+yOP0tRKJG20yyxN17kOx0YrYG7XiQ7XJ cK1U7eyhAdQsoJR4tXR/BE3IEoUoiGjMNEMXVYdCHLnUl46ymy66qK48UW31OpVa XB2JBpxU9LxESqF4QycFA1ToZHThJ1VJO5mDNyvFTS9S4Y9pr8+pI/Sxex8PDUrV eJ4Y40WQpRMwq4akQ45BZyWQ3En27Xq2o+REjwAle+Iwkojg+jnqDipw+Gtg4yKZ LDUFYEAkRy+yq08uqcem4w6PS+ESw==
X-ME-Sender: <xms:sBsBXXZ0ho6fxLNHD-NL6f3UoLaJ1kAZB6DMbCvhuChlVQuYy5xegA>
X-ME-Proxy-Cause: gggruggvucftvghtrhhoucdtuddrgeduuddrudehjedgleehucetufdoteggodetrfdotf fvucfrrhhofhhilhgvmecuhfgrshhtofgrihhlpdfqfgfvpdfurfetoffkrfgpnffqhgen uceurghilhhouhhtmecufedttdenucesvcftvggtihhpihgvnhhtshculddquddttddmne cujfgurheptggguffhjgffgffkfhfvofesthhqmhdthhdtjeenucfhrhhomheptehlihhs shgrucevohhophgvrhcuoegrlhhishhsrgestghoohhpvghrfidrihhnqeenucffohhmrg hinhepihgvthhfrdhorhhgpdhirghnrgdrohhrghdpmhhitghrohhsohhfthdrtghomhen ucfkphepudelledrudekjedrvdduledrfeelnecurfgrrhgrmhepmhgrihhlfhhrohhmpe grlhhishhsrgestghoohhpvghrfidrihhnnecuvehluhhsthgvrhfuihiivgeptd
X-ME-Proxy: <xmx:sBsBXbko6FSoi_csJcg3-e_nDEt19dvyJ5Ifg4T3PrwziZnfVO8NZA> <xmx:sBsBXa2Ks5RqKdEHom90WmfblFBBXdbHSrUGMNeJ3Vx8OXhbuKP9AA> <xmx:sBsBXT3KSP_UVJxoqID6eGlGj-J76MlrQcwgyEJLDkKdUbVyDhKy9Q> <xmx:sBsBXQ7iB3RWVHj8HEmLV945V5au7eGyyqtsO0YrF7Gz3kyBI024BQ>
Received: from static-219-39.meetings.nanog.org (unknown [199.187.219.39]) by mail.messagingengine.com (Postfix) with ESMTPA id 12880380073; Wed, 12 Jun 2019 11:35:12 -0400 (EDT)
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"
Mime-Version: 1.0 (Mac OS X Mail 11.5 \(3445.9.1\))
From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
In-Reply-To: <787AE7BB302AE849A7480A190F8B93302EA6C53A@OPEXCAUBMA2.corporate.adroot.infra.ftgroup>
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2019 11:35:11 -0400
Cc: "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>, "softwires@ietf.org" <softwires@ietf.org>, "ietf@ietf.org" <ietf@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel.all@ietf.org>
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Message-Id: <3AC67A0F-A30A-4B7A-8F71-BB4D7BB89E03@cooperw.in>
References: <155710932616.5380.16080578287406575461@ietfa.amsl.com> <787AE7BB302AE849A7480A190F8B93302EA6C53A@OPEXCAUBMA2.corporate.adroot.infra.ftgroup>
To: mohamed.boucadair@orange.com, Dale Worley <worley@ariadne.com>
X-Mailer: Apple Mail (2.3445.9.1)
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/softwires/bAFx0T4uNR0_8IGTEqgzsliMvWM>
Subject: Re: [Softwires] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel-04
X-BeenThere: softwires@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.29
Precedence: list
List-Id: softwires wg discussion list <softwires.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/softwires>, <mailto:softwires-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/softwires/>
List-Post: <mailto:softwires@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:softwires-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/softwires>, <mailto:softwires-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2019 15:35:16 -0000
Dale, thanks for your review. Med, thanks for your response. I entered a No Objection ballot. Alissa > On May 6, 2019, at 3:49 AM, mohamed.boucadair@orange.com wrote: > > Dear Dale, > > Thank for the review. > > Please see inline. > > Cheers, > Med > >> -----Message d'origine----- >> De : Dale Worley via Datatracker [mailto:noreply@ietf.org] >> Envoyé : lundi 6 mai 2019 04:22 >> À : gen-art@ietf.org >> Cc : softwires@ietf.org; ietf@ietf.org; draft-ietf-softwire- >> iftunnel.all@ietf.org >> Objet : Genart last call review of draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel-04 >> >> Reviewer: Dale Worley >> Review result: Ready with Nits >> >> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area >> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed >> by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just >> like any other last call comments. >> >> For more information, please see the FAQ at >> >> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. >> >> Document: draft-ietf-softwire-iftunnel-04 >> Reviewer: Dale R. Worley >> Review Date: 2019-05-05 >> IETF LC End Date: 2019-05-07 >> IESG Telechat date: [not known] >> >> Summary: >> >> This draft is ready for publication as a Standards Track RFC. >> >> Nits/editorial comments: >> >> Editorial Note (To be removed by RFC Editor) >> >> This section is a great idea. I haven't seen this usage before. >> >> Please update the "revision" date of the YANG modules. >> >> This sentence doesn't say what to update the revision date to. >> > > [Med] The revision date will be updated with the publication date of the (future) RFC. The RFC editor is used with that. > >> 1. Introduction >> >> This document specifies the initial version of the iana-tunnel-type >> YANG module identifying tunnel interface types. >> >> This could be made more specific, e.g., >> >> This document specifies the initial version of the iana-tunnel-type >> YANG module containing a collection of IANA maintained YANG >> identities identifying tunnel interface types. >> > > [Med] OK. > >> -- >> >> 2. IANA Tunnel Type YANG Module >> >> The initial version of the module includes tunnels types defined in >> [RFC4087], [RFC7856], [RFC7870], and [RFC6346]. >> >> s/tunnels types/tunnel types/ >> > > [Med] Fixed. > >> Should this mention the provenance of IP-HTTPS, which is in none of >> these RFCs? > > [Med] This is already covered by the "reference" clause. > >> >> identity iphttps { >> base ift:tunnel; >> description >> "IP over HTTPS (IP-HTTPS) Tunneling Protocol."; >> reference >> "Microsoft Corporation, IP over HTTPS (IP-HTTPS) Tunneling >> Protocol Specification, >> https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/dd358571.aspx"; >> } >> >> This type's reference doesn't appear in the list of references. > > [Med] That is on purpose because otherwise that reference will need to be called out in the core text. > >> >> 3. Security Considerations >> >> These identies are intended to be >> referenced by other YANG modules, and by themselves do not expose any >> nodes which are writable, contain read-only state, or RPCs. >> >> Logically, this is correct, but I think it would read better if >> s/contain read-only state/contain readable state/. > > [Med] I will leave the initial wording. > >> >> 4.1. YANG Module >> >> The name of the "identity" is the same as the corresponding >> enumeration in the IANAifType-MIB (i.e., IANAtunnelType). >> >> This should be "... is the lower-case of the corresponding enumeration >> ...". >> >> "base": Contains the name assigned to the tunnel type, in >> lowercase. >> >> The description of this item should be "Contains 'ift:tunnel'.". > > [Med] Good catch. Thanks. > >> >> 6.2. Informative References >> >> [TUNNELTYPE-IANA-REGISTRY] >> Internet Assigned Numbers Authority, "tunnelType >> Definitions", <https://www.iana.org/assignments/smi- >> numbers/smi-numbers.xhtml#smi-numbers-6>. >> >> Given that this document specifies substantial interaction with this >> registry, this reference should be normative. > > [Med] We used to have this one as normative but we received comments asking to move it informative. I will leave this one to the AD. > >> >> The title of this reference cannot be "tunnelType Definitions", >> because that text does not appear in either the referenced URL or the >> IANA assigned numbers index (https://www.iana.org/protocols). The >> title of the entire web page is "Structure of Management Information >> (SMI) Numbers (MIB Module Registrations)"; the title of the section >> that is referenced is "Internet-standard MIB - >> mib-2.interface.ifTable.ifEntry.ifType.tunnelType", which is a >> subsection of the section titled "ifType definitions". There is no >> reference to the section from the IANA assigned numbers index. >> >> Comparing with this passage from section 4.1 >> >> They must instead be respectively added to the >> "tunnelType" sub-registry (under the "ifType definitions" >> registry). >> >> suggests the title "ifType definitions: tunnelType" may be in >> informal use. > > [Med] I went for: s/tunnelType Definitions/ifType definitions: tunnelType > >> >> [END] >> > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > Gen-art@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
- [Softwires] Genart last call review of draft-ietf… Dale Worley via Datatracker
- Re: [Softwires] Genart last call review of draft-… mohamed.boucadair
- Re: [Softwires] Genart last call review of draft-… Eric Vyncke (evyncke)
- Re: [Softwires] [Gen-art] Genart last call review… Alissa Cooper