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Re: [lamps] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-lamps-rfc6844bis-06

Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Tue, 28 May 2019 20:17 UTC

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From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
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Date: Tue, 28 May 2019 16:17:31 -0400
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To: Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>
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Subject: Re: [lamps] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-lamps-rfc6844bis-06
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Thanks Peter. I entered a No Objection ballot pointing to your review.

Alissa

> On May 15, 2019, at 9:51 AM, Peter Yee via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
> 
> Reviewer: Peter Yee
> Review result: Ready with Issues
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-lamps-rfc6844bis-06
> Reviewer: Peter Yee
> Review Date: 2019-05-15
> IETF LC End Date: 2019-05-08
> IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
> 
> Summary: Ready with Issues.  This draft is an update to RFC 6844 dealing with
> the CAA RR used to notify CAs as to which CA(s) are allowed to issue
> certificates for a particular domain.  The issues and nits I note are rather
> minor.  Apologies for the lateness of this review.
> 
> Major issues:
> 
> Minor issues:
> 
> Page 10, 2nd paragraph: the appearance of "sub.wild.example.com" presupposes
> that there was no other RRset that matched sub.wild.example.com (or a "deeper"
> domain name) already.  That assumption should be noted in this paragraph.
> 
> Page 13, section 5.6: a little context should be given here.  This abuse is
> only plausible if the domain owner is being given the RRset data by the CA
> rather than generating that data itself.
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> 
> Page 5, 1st partial paragraph: change "with" to "within".
> 
> Page 5, 1st full paragraph: regarding the reference to Section 4, shouldn't
> this actually be Section 3?
> 
> Page 8, definition of "Value", 2nd sentence: delete redundant "the".
> 
> Page 15, 1st partial paragraph, 1st partial sentence: change "use" to "used".
> 
> Page 15, section 7, 2nd paragraph: is there a reference available for the term
> "WebPKI"?
> 
> Page 15, section 7, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: insert "the" before "issue".
> 
> 
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