[storm] AD Review: draft-ietf-storm-ifcpmib-04

"David Harrington" <ietfdbh@comcast.net> Sat, 18 September 2010 00:49 UTC

Return-Path: <ietfdbh@comcast.net>
X-Original-To: storm@core3.amsl.com
Delivered-To: storm@core3.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost []) by core3.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 85E5E3A697F for <storm@core3.amsl.com>; Fri, 17 Sep 2010 17:49:48 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -102.249
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-102.249 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[AWL=0.350, BAYES_00=-2.599, USER_IN_WHITELIST=-100]
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([]) by localhost (core3.amsl.com []) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id AfFrR+hivh0w for <storm@core3.amsl.com>; Fri, 17 Sep 2010 17:49:47 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from qmta04.westchester.pa.mail.comcast.net (qmta04.westchester.pa.mail.comcast.net []) by core3.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 745D33A69A0 for <storm@ietf.org>; Fri, 17 Sep 2010 17:49:47 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from omta22.westchester.pa.mail.comcast.net ([]) by qmta04.westchester.pa.mail.comcast.net with comcast id 7mZA1f0051ap0As540qCc6; Sat, 18 Sep 2010 00:50:12 +0000
Received: from 23FX1C1 ([]) by omta22.westchester.pa.mail.comcast.net with comcast id 80qC1f00G2JQnJT3i0qCaN; Sat, 18 Sep 2010 00:50:12 +0000
From: "David Harrington" <ietfdbh@comcast.net>
To: <storm@ietf.org>
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2010 20:49:18 -0400
Message-ID: <6BAB3FA1F9BC44B2BA5E9A1C1F255097@23FX1C1>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook 11
X-MIMEOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.5994
Thread-index: ActWy1KVzWSQXSb5Slylq7GkQjYBXQ==
Subject: [storm] AD Review: draft-ietf-storm-ifcpmib-04
X-BeenThere: storm@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.9
Precedence: list
List-Id: Storage Maintenance WG <storm.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/storm>, <mailto:storm-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/storm>
List-Post: <mailto:storm@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:storm-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/storm>, <mailto:storm-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 00:49:49 -0000


I have done my AD Evaluation of this document. There are some changes
that need to be made.

1) This document copies a great deal of text from RFC 4369. I think
you need to include the copyright disclaimer that this document
contains some pre-rfc5378 text. (check the current IPR rules on how
this is specified).

2) I recommend including the original authors' contact information in
the acknowledgement section.

3) The label
   "INTERNET-DRAFT" should appear in the upper left hand corner of the
   first page.  If the I-D is associated with an IETF working group,
   name of the working group should appear on the line below the
   "INTERNET-DRAFT" label.

4) Please include the working group contact information in the MIB
module's CONTACT-INFO field.
   - If the module was developed by an IETF working group, then the
     ORGANIZATION clause MUST provide the full name of the working
     group, and the CONTACT-INFO clause MUST include working group
     mailing list information.  The CONTACT-INFO clause SHOULD also
     provide a pointer to the working group's web page.

5) MIB modules cannot contains reference citations of the form
use the format 
REFERENCE      "RFC 4172, iFCP Protocol Specification"
The extracted MIB module might be used separately from the surrounding
text, e.g., used in a help file.  

6) see RFC4181 section 4.5
The LAST-UPDATED and REVISION field dates seem out of date, and are
missing the comment with the date.
In the revision description, please identify the RFC, not an Internet
          REVISION    "200212132358Z"  -- December 13, 2002
          DESCRIPTION "This MIB module published as RFC yyyy."
   -- RFC Ed.: replace yyyy with actual RFC number & remove this note

please include a description of the changes between revisions in the

David Harrington
Director, IETF Transport Area
ietfdbh@comcast.net (preferred for ietf)
+1 603 828 1401 (cell)