[tcpm] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-tcpm-rfc793bis-25: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)

[Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[e-mail]>]

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-tcpm-rfc793bis-25: Discuss

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DISCUSS:
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The IESG needs to approve the following DOWNREFs during the telechat:

  DOWNREF [10] from this Internet Standard to Proposed Standard RFC6298.
  DOWNREF [2] from this Internet Standard to Draft Standard RFC1191.
  DOWNREF [7] from this Internet Standard to Proposed Standard RFC3168.
  DOWNREF [11] from this Internet Standard to Proposed Standard RFC6633.
  DOWNREF [9] from this Internet Standard to Draft Standard RFC5681.
  DOWNREF [5] from this Internet Standard to Proposed Standard RFC2675.
  DOWNREF [4] from this Internet Standard to Proposed Standard RFC2474.


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COMMENT:
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Section 3.1. , paragraph 50, comment:
>      Note: There is ongoing work to extend the space available for TCP
>      options, such as [64].

draft-ietf-tcpm-tcp-edo has been dead for four years, not sure how useful it is
to point to.

Section 3.4. , paragraph 35, comment:
>    Initial Sequence Number Selection

Shouldn't this be a heading starting a new sub-section?

Section 3.4. , paragraph 46, comment:
>    Knowing When to Keep Quiet

Shouldn't this be a heading starting a new sub-section?

Section 3.4. , paragraph 47, comment:
>    The TCP Quiet Time Concept

Shouldn't this be a heading starting a new sub-section?

Section 3.4. , paragraph 49, comment:
>    At 2 megabits/sec. it
>    takes 4.5 hours to use up 2**32 octets of sequence space.  Since the
>    maximum segment lifetime in the net is not likely to exceed a few
>    tens of seconds, this is deemed ample protection for foreseeable
>    nets, even if data rates escalate to 10's of megabits/sec.  At 100
>    megabits/sec, the cycle time is 5.4 minutes, which may be a little
>    short, but still within reason.

It would be nice to see an argument if any considerations change for today's
higher-bandwidth Internet paths.

Section 3.5. , paragraph 37, comment:
>    Half-Open Connections and Other Anomalies

Shouldn't this be a heading starting a new sub-section?

Section 3.5. , paragraph 74, comment:
>    Reset Processing

Shouldn't this be a heading starting a new sub-section?

Section 3.9.1. , paragraph 1, comment:
> 3.9.1.  User/TCP Interface

This section would be much more readable if each command was in its own
sub-section. I find deeply indented text that spans multiple pages difficult to
follow.

Section 5. , paragraph 50, comment:
>    Early in the process of updating RFC 793, Scott Brim mentioned that
>    this should include a PERPASS/privacy review.  This may be something
>    for the chairs or AD to request during WGLC or IETF LC.

Has this review has happened?

Document obsoletes RFC793, but does not cite it as a reference.

Document obsoletes RFC879, but does not cite it as a reference.

Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more
guidance:

 * Term "his"; alternatives might be "they", "them", "their".

 * Term "traditional"; alternatives might be "classic", "classical",
   "common", "conventional", "customary", "fixed", "habitual", "historic",
   "long-established", "popular", "prescribed", "regular", "rooted",
   "time-honored", "universal", "widely used", "widespread".

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Section 3.3.2. , paragraph 21, nit:
-       Note 2: An unshown transition exists from FIN-WAIT-1 to TIME-WAIT
-               ^^  ^ ^^^^           -------
+       Note 2: The figure omits a transition from FIN-WAIT-1 to TIME-WAIT
+               ^^^ +++ ^^^^^^^ ^^

Section 3.8.6.1. , paragraph 4, nit:
-    paper" situation described in Section 4.2.2.17 of RFC1122.  The
-                                                      ^^^ ^^^
+    paper" situation described in Section 4.2.2.17 of [18].  The
+                                                      ^ ^^

Section 3.8.6.3. , paragraph 3, nit:
-    recomendations to immediately acknowledge out-of-order segments,
+    recommendations to immediately acknowledge out-of-order segments,
+        +

"Table of Contents", paragraph 2, nit:
>  . . . . . . . . . 108 A.4. Low Water Mark Settings . . . . . . . . . . . .
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^
This is normally spelled as one word.

Section 3.1. , paragraph 8, nit:
> ing host. The control bits are also know as "flags". Assignment is managed b
>                                     ^^^^
Did you mean "known"?

Section 3.2. , paragraph 12, nit:
> ue and to the current segment. In addition several variables relating to the
>                                   ^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "addition".

Section 3.3.2. , paragraph 15, nit:
> m SYN-RECEIVED to LISTEN on receiving a RST is conditional on having reached
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.3.2. , paragraph 16, nit:
> rationale). These transitions are not not explicitly shown, otherwise the di
>                                   ^^^^^^^
This phrase contains a double negative, or a comma may be missing.

Section 3.3.2. , paragraph 16, nit:
> icult to read. Similarly, receipt of a RST from any state results in a trans
>                                      ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.4. , paragraph 25, nit:
> The clock component is intended to insure that with a Maximum Segment Lifetim
>                                    ^^^^^^
Did you mean "ensure" (=make sure)? "Insure" means "pay money to insurance
company".

Section 3.4. , paragraph 37, nit:
> owing whether the segment was an old delayed one or not, unless it remembers
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^
Make sure that the adjective "old" is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb
(typically ~ly) that modifies "delayed". Possibly, it should be the first word
in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.

Section 3.4. , paragraph 37, nit:
> e sender to verify this SYN. The three way handshake and the advantages of a
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.

Section 3.4. , paragraph 47, nit:
> nets, even if data rates escalate to 10's of megabits/sec. At 100 megabits/se
>                                      ^^^^
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades.

Section 3.5. , paragraph 3, nit:
> he ACK field is incorrect and returns a RST (reset) with its SEQ field select
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.5. , paragraph 25, nit:
> onnection exists, so TCP Peer A sends a RST. The RST is acceptable so TCP Pe
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.5. , paragraph 29, nit:
> (line 3) and causes TCP A to generate a RST (the ACK in line 3 is not accepta
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.5. , paragraph 80, nit:
> d, its TCP implementation SHOULD send a RST to show that data was lost (SHLD-
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.7.1. , paragraph 9, nit:
>  not support attachment to links with a MTU greater than 65,575 [5], and the
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.7.5. , paragraph 2, nit:
> s of the SYN segment or by receipt of a RST segment or an ICMP Port Unreachab
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.8.2. , paragraph 4, nit:
> tion, or at least to determine whether or not more urgent data remains to be
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you
mean "regardless of whether".

Section 3.8.3. , paragraph 2, nit:
> hat all have the same sequence number so there will be no way to reorder them
>                                      ^^^
Use a comma before "so" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are
closely connected and short).

Section 3.8.3. , paragraph 6, nit:
> g accepted that much data. This, so called "shrinking the window," is strong
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
The expression "so-called" is usually spelled with a hyphen.

Section 3.8.6.2.1. , paragraph 17, nit:
> he operating system will verify the users authority to open a connection with
>                                     ^^^^^
An apostrophe may be missing.

Section 3.8.6.2.2. , paragraph 4, nit:
> ction name can then be used as a short hand term for the connection defined
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one.

Section 3.9.1. , paragraph 27, nit:
> he user level protocol is not well thought out) that the closing side is una
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.

Section 3.9.2. , paragraph 7, nit:
> aiting delivery, the RECEIVE will get a "error: connection closing" response
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.9.2.1. , paragraph 2, nit:
> , this is an error and should receive a "error: connection closing" response
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.9.2.2. , paragraph 11, nit:
> arded. An incoming segment containing a RST is discarded. An incoming segment
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.9.2.2. , paragraph 11, nit:
> . An incoming segment not containing a RST causes a RST to be sent in respon
>                                      ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.9.2.3. , paragraph 1, nit:
> g segment not containing a RST causes a RST to be sent in response. The ackn
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.10.1. , paragraph 3, nit:
> ED state, delete TCB, and return. Otherwise (no ACK) drop the segment and ret
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Otherwise".

Section 3.10.1. , paragraph 3, nit:
> o ACK, and the segment did not contain a RST. - If the SYN bit is on and the
>                                        ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.10.1. , paragraph 6, nit:
>  generate an acknowledgement in the later processing steps, saving this extra
>                                     ^^^^^
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?

Section 3.10.7.4. , paragraph 30, nit:
> aining sequence numbers entirely outside of this range are considered duplic
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".

Section 3.10.7.4. , paragraph 32, nit:
> a segment containing RST give rise to a RST in response. SEG.ACK segment ack
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 3.10.7.4. , paragraph 83, nit:
>  573: Reported by Bob Braden (note: This errata basically is just a reminder
>                                     ^^^^
The demonstrative "This" may not agree with the plural noun "errata". Did you
mean "these"?

Section 3.10.7.4. , paragraph 83, nit:
>  of the "functional specification". Also the 1122 text on the retransmission
>                                     ^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Also".

Section 3.10.7.4. , paragraph 102, nit:
> discussion in 2015 also indicated that that we should not try to add sections
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
Possible typo: you repeated a word.

Section 5. , paragraph 2, nit:
> firewalls, and other technologies outside of the end-host TCP implementation.
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^^
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".

Section 8. , paragraph 2, nit:
> beneficial to consider. A.4. Low Water Mark Settings Some operating system ke
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
This is normally spelled as one word.

Reference [20] to RFC1644, which was obsoleted by RFC6247 (this may be on
purpose).

Reference [17] to RFC896, which was obsoleted by RFC7805 (this may be on
purpose).

Reference [19] to RFC1349, which was obsoleted by RFC2474 (this may be on
purpose).

These URLs in the document did not return content:
 * http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-tcpm-tcp-edo-10.txt
 * http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-gont-tcpm-tcp-seq-validation-04.txt
 * http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-gont-tcpm-tcp-seccomp-prec-00.txt