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[Teas] Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07

daniel@olddog.co.uk Tue, 20 August 2024 12:08 UTC

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From: daniel@olddog.co.uk
To: 'Peter Yee' <peter@akayla.com>, gen-art@ietf.org
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Date: Tue, 20 Aug 2024 13:08:14 +0100
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Subject: [Teas] Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07
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Hi Peter, 

Thank you for the review and comments. 

The latest version of the I-D has addressed all the nits/editorial comments that you made. 

Latest version: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing/
Diff from the previous version: https://author-tools.ietf.org/iddiff?url2=draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-08

BR, Dan (on behalf of the authors). 

-----Original Message-----
From: Peter Yee via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> 
Sent: 10 August 2024 06:26
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing.all@ietf.org; last-call@ietf.org; teas@ietf.org
Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07

Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>.

Document: draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: 2024-08-09
IETF LC End Date: 2024-08-08
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: This is an informational draft on how (IETF) network slicing in TE networks can be accomplished using concepts from RFC 8453 and RFC 9543. This is well outside of my wheelhouse, so I’m not providing any real technical input.
There are some editorial items in the document that ought to be fixed before publication. [Ready with nits]

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:

Page 1, Abstract, 4th paragraph: delete the comma between “ACTN” and “and”.

Page 6, section 2.2, 1st sentence: delete the comma between “network” and “and”.

Page 6, section 2.3, 2nd paragraph: change “sharing or” to “sharing of”.

Page 6, section 1st bullet item: delete the comma after “congestion”.

Page 11, section 3.4.1, 1st bullet item: change “is” to “are”.

Page 20, section 6, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: change “providers” to “provider’s”.

Page 20, section 6, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: change “risk data” to “risk of data”. Insert “and” before “no transfer of knowledge”.

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