[Teas] AD review for draft-ietf-teas-enhanced-vpn

[James Guichard <[e-mail]>]

Dear Authors:

Thank you for a nicely written and clear to follow document. Please find below my comments for draft-ietf-teas-enhanced-vpn. I have included line numbers from idnits to help with your review.


>From indits please fix these references:



== Outdated reference: A later version (-06) exists of

     draft-ietf-6man-enhanced-vpn-vtn-id-05



  == Outdated reference: A later version (-07) exists of

     draft-ietf-spring-sr-for-enhanced-vpn-06



  == Outdated reference: A later version (-24) exists of

     draft-ietf-teas-actn-vn-yang-22



  == Outdated reference: A later version (-12) exists of

     draft-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slice-nbi-yang-08



  == Outdated reference: A later version (-04) exists of

     draft-ietf-teas-nrp-scalability-03



  == Outdated reference: A later version (-04) exists of

     draft-wdbsp-teas-nrp-yang-03



  -- Obsolete informational reference (is this intentional?): RFC 7752

     (Obsoleted by RFC 9552)



120   1.  Introduction



122     RFC Editor Note: Please replace "RFC XXXX" in this document with the

123     RFC number assigned to [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices], and

124     remove this note.



Jim> The above reference is now an RFC (RFC 9543) so please remove the above text and replace any references to [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices] throughout the document with a reference to RFC 9543.



162     to as RFC XXXX Network Slices, but in this document (which is solely



Jim> s/RFC XXX Network Slices/RFC 9543 Network Slices.



200     predictable performance.  An enhanced VPN service may also involve a

201     set of service functions (Section 1.4 of [RFC7665]).  The techniques



Jim> Please make it clear that the above text is pointing to section 1.4 of RFC7665 as that is where the term ‘service function’ is defined. As currently written the text implies that enhanced VPN service involving service functions is defined in that section which is not accurate.



654     allocated in the underlay to satisfy the needs of the customer.  One

655     NRP may support one of more NRP-based enhanced VPN services.  The



Jim> s/of/or



851     to the NRP, and provisioning the enhanced VPN services on the NRP.  A

852     distributed control plane may be used for distributing the NRP

853     resource and topology attributes among nodes in the NRP.



Jim> If the required extensions (if any) needed for the distributed control plane are not defined in this document you should specify that here that such extensions are outside the scope of this document.



947     can be establihsed using the common set of network resources of the



Jim> s/etablihsed/established



953     Several candidate layer-2 packet- or frame-based forwarding plane



Jim> s/packet-/packet



985     enhanced VPN services.  Nor does DiffServ offer the range of service



Jim> s/Nor does/Additionally,



1035    DetNet pre-emptively sends copies of the packet over various paths to



Jim> s/pre-emptively/preemptively



1063    network.  SR can be instantiated using MPLS data plane (SR-MPLS) or

1064    IPv6 data plane (SRv6).



Jim> Please add references above for both SR-MPLS and SRv6.



1101  5.3.  Non-Packet Data Plane



1103    Non-packet underlay data plane technologies often have TE properties



Jim> It would be nice to add an example of what you mean by ‘Non-packet’ data plane.



1220    service or the underlying NRP must not perturbate traffic on the



Jim> ‘Perturbate’ ? Please correct typo.



1230    in the operator's network is needed, so that a customer cannot exceed



Jim> s/is/are



1384        larger packet headers.  The packet size can be lower if a form of

1385        loose source routing is used (using a few nodal SIDs), and it will

1386        be lower if no specific functions or resources on the routers are

1387        specified.



Jim> it might be advantageous to also specify that the packet size may be reduced by utilizing of the compression techniques currently being developed in the SPRING working group. Please consider this and add references for this work.



1569    take pre-emptive protective action.



Jim> s/pre-emptive/preemptive

Thanks!

Jim