Re: [Teas] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on draft-ietf-teas-pce-native-ip-15: (with COMMENT)

Hi, Murray:

Thanks for your review. I have updated the draft according to your
suggestions. The updated version will be uploaded later, together with
comments from other experts.
Detail responses inline below [WAJ]

Thanks for your efforts.

Best Regards

Aijun Wang
China Telecom

-----Original Message-----
From: teas-bounces@ietf.org <teas-bounces@ietf.org> On Behalf Of Murray
Kucherawy via Datatracker
Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 2021 4:48 PM
To: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
Cc: draft-ietf-teas-pce-native-ip@ietf.org; teas-chairs@ietf.org;
teas@ietf.org; Lou Berger <lberger@labn.net>
Subject: [Teas] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on
draft-ietf-teas-pce-native-ip-15: (with COMMENT)

Murray Kucherawy has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-teas-pce-native-ip-15: No Objection

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Just some nits here, adding to what Erik found:

Section 3:

"The topology is comprises four devices ..." should be "The topology is
comprised of four devices ..." or "The topology comprises four devices ..."

In the third bullet: "For example, PF11/PF21 via ..." -- I suggest putting
"send" before "PF11/PF21".
[WAJ] Done

"... achieving the needed QoS assurance ..." -- suggest changing "achieving"
to "satisfying" (since you used "achieve" already in that sentence)
[WAJ] Done

Section 4:

I can't quite parse the first sentence, specifically the end of it.
[WAJ] Change the sentence to " When the priority traffic spans a large scale
network, such as that illustrated in Figure 2, the multiple BGP sessions
cannot be established hop by hop within one AS. For such a scenario, we
propose..."

Section 5:

"... is as the follows:" -- remove "the"
[WAJ] Done

Section 8:

"... BGP security consideration." -- s/consideration/considerations/

"There will no additional ..." -- add "be" before "no", or change "will" to
"are"
[WAJ] Change to "There are no additional..."

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