Re: [Teas] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-topo-16: (with COMMENT)

Xufeng Liu <xufeng.liu.ietf@gmail.com> Sun, 24 June 2018 02:43 UTC

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From: Xufeng Liu <xufeng.liu.ietf@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2018 22:42:51 -0400
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To: ben@nostrum.com
Cc: iesg@ietf.org, draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-topo@ietf.org, Lou Berger <lberger@labn.net>, TEAS WG Chairs <teas-chairs@ietf.org>, TEAS WG <teas@ietf.org>
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Subject: Re: [Teas] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-topo-16: (with COMMENT)
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Hi Ben,

Thanks for the comments. We have posted an undated version
https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-topo-17 to address
these. Please check the updated draft.

Best regards,
- Xufeng

On Wed, Jun 6, 2018 at 3:08 PM Ben Campbell <ben@nostrum.com> wrote:

> Ben Campbell has entered the following ballot position for
> draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-topo-16: No Objection
>
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> The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-topo/
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>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> COMMENT:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Just some editorial comments:
>
> - There is conflicting 2119/8174 boilerplate in the front material and in
> §1.1.
> I assume the latter is the correct boilerplate.
>

[Xufeng]: Fixed.


> - The writing style makes heavy use of imbedded definitions and examples in
> parenthetical phrases. I personally find that creates quite a bit of
> readability friction. It would be easier to read if such things were split
> out
> into their own sentences.

[Xufeng]: Many parenthetical phrases have been taken our of the parentheses.


> - Some of the figures have legends, but most do not. It would be very
> helpful
> to include legends in those figures that depend on different line styles to
> convey meaning. (e.g. Figure 1).
>

[Xufeng]: Legends have been Added in such situations.