[Teas] Re: WG adoption poll: draft-barguil-teas-network-slices-instantation-11

[Adrian Farrel <[e-mail]>]

Hi,

 

I had a look at this draft during the adoption poll.

 

The draft is definitely in scope for TEAS and I think it is a useful

cookbook to back up the slicing work. This is certainly a comprehensive

first attempt and I am sure it would be a good basis for further polish

from the working group.

 

Of course, while reading the draft, I had a few minor points and nits.

Nothing that needs to hold up adoption.

 

Thanks,

Adrian

 

===

 

= Minor =

 

Abstract

 

"the NSC has to map it" Map to what?

 

---

 

Abstract

 

"the gaps in existing models are identified" To what purpose?

 

---

 

1.

 

"For example, the Network Slice Service YANG service model" could use a

reference.

 

---

 

1.

 

"The document also identifies some gaps related to existing models." To

what purpose?

 

---

 

I wonder whether you should call out the differences between your Figure

1 and Figure 2 of RFC 9543. Perhaps point forward to your Figure 3 which 

is, I think, the 9543 Figure 2 picture.

 

---

 

3.

 

   *  [I-D.ietf-opsawg-teas-attachment-circuit]: specifies YANG data

      models for managing 'Attachment Circuits'-as-a-Service (ACaaS) and

      also bearers.

 

Need to give a hint about what a "bearer" is.

 

---

 

Some confusion in Figure 5 as to whether the Config Manager uses

Netconf/CLI to talk to the network.

 

---

 

= Nits =

 

idnits shows some warnings:

- The BCP 14 boilerplate is certainly not needed.

- The outdated references should clean themselves up next time you 

  run XML2RFC

- The non-ASCII characters are OK and don't need changing.

 

---

 

I don't know why idnits doesn't throw a warning for the reference to

draft-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices. But, anyway, you should update it 

to RFC9543.

 

---

 

Abstract

 

s/Network slice Service/Network Slice Service/

s/request for a Slice Service request/request for a Slice Service/

 

---

 

1.

 

s/Slice controller (NSC)/Slice Controller (NSC)/

 

---

 

2.

 

s/managed prior/managed prior to/

 

---

 

2.

 

s/arisen on the IETF/arisen in the IETF/

 

---

 

2.

 

Please expand SDN on first use.

 

---

 

2.

 

s/The figure 2/Figure 2/

s/figure 4/Figure 4/

I suspect you are missing use of <xref>

 

---

 

2.

"e.g., as the MDSC in the ACTN context"

Please expand MDSC and ACTN.

 

---

 

2.

s/in the Figure 2 at the bottom/at the bottom of Figure 2/

s/directly interact/directly interacts/

 

---

 

3.

s/proposed:/defined:/

s/VPN is used to realize slices./A VPN can be used to realize slices./

 

From: Vishnu Pavan Beeram <[e-mail]> 
Sent: 15 January 2025 16:23
To: TEAS WG <[e-mail]>
Cc: TEAS WG Chairs <[e-mail]>
Subject: [Teas] WG adoption poll: draft-barguil-teas-network-slices-instantation-11

 

All,

This is start of a *two* week poll on making
draft-barguil-teas-network-slices-instantation-11 a TEAS working group document

[https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-barguil-teas-network-slices-instantation-11]

No IPR has been disclosed on this document.


Please send an email to the list indicating "yes/support" or "no/do not support".
If indicating no, please state your reservations with the document. 

If yes, please also feel free to provide comments you'd like to see
addressed once the document is a WG document.

The poll ends on Jan 29th.

Thank you,
Pavan and Oscar