Re: [TERNLI] Request for review -NiTS rev -07
"Bernard Aboba" <bernard_aboba@hotmail.com> Thu, 15 February 2007 22:52 UTC
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From: Bernard Aboba <bernard_aboba@hotmail.com>
To: gorry@erg.abdn.ac.uk, aboba@internaut.com
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Subject: Re: [TERNLI] Request for review -NiTS rev -07
Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2007 11:31:06 -0800
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Thank you! Revisions to the document (in progress) will be available here: http://www.drizzle.com/~aboba/IAB/draft-iab-link-indications-08.txt >From: Gorry Fairhurst <gorry@erg.abdn.ac.uk> >Reply-To: gorry@erg.abdn.ac.uk >To: Bernard Aboba <aboba@internaut.com> >CC: Gorry Fairhurst <gorry@erg.abdn.ac.uk>, ternli@ietf.org, iab@ietf.org >Subject: Re: [TERNLI] Request for review -NiTS rev -07 >Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2007 10:19:59 +0000 > > >Here are some NiTs to be considered by the authors in their next revison, > >Best wishes, > >Gorry > > >Bernard Aboba wrote: > >>The IAB is considering publication of "Architectural Implications of Link >>Indications", and would interested in feedback from the transport >>community. >> >>The latest version of the document can be found here prior to appearance >>on the I-D archive: >>http://www.drizzle.com/~aboba/IAB/draft-iab-link-indications-07.txt >> >>Feedback can be sent to iab@ietf.org. >> >> > > >NITS > >--- >1.1 Routable Address > /In this specification, the term "routable address" refers to any > IPv4 address other than an IPv4 Link-Local address./ >- Why so IPv4 centric? >- I don't see why the discussion in the document does not also relate to >IPv6 addresses, and if we can we should make general guidance for IP, >rather than version-specific guidance, please provide IPv6 reference. >- Many of the later examples are taken from IPv4, which is fine, but it >would be good to see up-front that these issues also apply to IPv6 (which >they seem to). >--- >1.1 >/characteristics which/ >should be: >/characteristics that/ > ^^^^ >---- >/Link indication/ >should be: >/Link Indication/ > ^ >--- >/Operable address/ >should be: >/Operable Address/ > ^ >--- >/Routable address/ >should be: >/Routable Address/ > ^ >--- >/In this specification,/ > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >- In this document? - this is not a protocol spec. >--- >/sent out an interface/ > ^^^^^^ >- The English here does not read well for a british reader, could this be >"by an interface"? >/sent on an outgoing interface/ > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >--- >Section 1.4.1 >/indications may not result in a/ >- can be misread by some English-speaking readers as MUST NOT... >I suggest: >/indications do not necessarily result in a/ > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >--- > /Link indications such > "Link Up"/"Link Down" or changes in rate/ >- insert "as" after "such". >--- >Section 1.4.2 Transport Layer >/bottleneck bandwidth is already/ >- It's not clear which bottleneck here. >should be: >/bandwidth of the bottleneck on the end-to-end path is already/ > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >--- >1.4.2. Transport Layer >- I prefer adding the word "received" >/The Transport layer processes link indications differently for/ >Could it be: >/The Transport layer processes received link indications differently for/ > ^^^^^^^^ >--- >Section 2.1 >/avoid use of link models/ >- insert 'the' >/avoid the use of link models/ > ^^^ >--- >Section 2.3.2, >/The problem was caused by an invalid / >- This paragraph break seems to be wrong - perhaps this is part of the >previous para? >--- >Section 2.6 >/ Duplicate Address Detection (DAD)./ >- cite? >[RFC4429] Moore, N., "Optimistic Duplicate Address Detection (DAD) for >IPv6", RFC 4429, April 2006. >--- >Section 2.7 >/ transport parameters for the original interface (MTU, congestion state)/ >- the MSS (derived from link MTU, or PMTU)... >--- >A.1.2 Smart Link Layer Proposals > >Consider adding?: > > [RFC3366] provides advice to the designers of digital > communication equipment and link-layer protocols employing link-layer > Automatic Repeat reQuest (ARQ) techniques for IP. It discusses the use > of ARQ, timers, persistency in retransmission and the challenges that > arise from sharing links between multiple flows and in differentiation > transport flow requirements. > >
- [TERNLI] Request for review Bernard Aboba
- Re: [TERNLI] Request for review -NiTS rev -07 Gorry Fairhurst
- Re: [TERNLI] Request for review -NiTS rev -07 Bernard Aboba