[trill] Mail Shepherd's comments on draft-ietf-trill-oam-fm-03.txt
"Susan Hares" <shares@ndzh.com> Tue, 27 May 2014 19:50 UTC
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From: Susan Hares <shares@ndzh.com>
To: draft-ietf-trill-oam-fm@tools.ietf.org, trill@ietf.org
Date: Tue, 27 May 2014 15:50:17 -0400
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Cc: 'Donald Eastlake' <d3e3e3@gmail.com>
Subject: [trill] Mail Shepherd's comments on draft-ietf-trill-oam-fm-03.txt
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Authors and working group: I respectfully submit the following shepherd's review below on the document quality. I found no technical issues with the draft, but I would suggest the editorial changes below (required and suggested). The full shepherd's report can be access via the draft's web page on the data tracker at: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-trill-oam-fm/ Please let me know if there are questions. I want to thank Donald Eastlake for his early review of my comments. Sue Hares ------------- Document Quality The TRILL OAM FM has implementations begun in the Cisco, Huawei, and other router companies (2-3). The co-authors on this draft are in touch with the implementation teams at Cisco and Huawei, and in-touch with the 802.1 Task group within the IEEE. The document's text and logic is excellent. Even with the ~60 page length, the shepherd found very few editorial issues. A few minor nits listed below, the authors will address promptly. (3) Briefly describe the review of this document that was performed by the Document Shepherd. If this version of the document is not ready for publication, please explain why the document is being forwarded to the IESG. Editorial issues: Fix regerences: ISIS - mentioned (line 1483, 2203) - change to [IS-IS] and adjust. Outdated references: RFC7172 draft-ietf-trill-fine-labeling has been published as RFC 7172 draft-ietf-trill-clear-correct has been published as RFC 7180 draft-ietf-trill-oam-framework has been published as RFC 7174 Outdated reference: draft-ietf-trill-rbridge-extension has been published as RFC 7179 Section 15.4 - requests return code for PTR request messages. It is unclear which registry this section applies to. Please fix. Shepherd's Editorial suggestions [This will be deleted after revision] ------------------- section 2.0 add references to: LBR - Loop Back Reply Message MTVM - Multi-destination Tree Verification Message MTVR - Multi-destination Tree Verification Reply Message PT - Path Trace PTR - Path Trace Message Reply Messaage 4.2.1 section page 11 change /or derive them from port defaults or the like/ to /or derive them from port defaults or other defaults/ 4.3.1 p. 12 change /<- This is the TRILL ingress function/ to /This is the TRILL ingress function./ 4.3.2 p. 12 Change /<- This is the TRILL egress funciton/ to / This is the TRILL Egress Function./ 4.3.3 p. 13 Change / If the EtherType is TRILL but the multicast DA is not ALL-RBridge or if the EhterType is L2-IS-IS but the multicast Da/ to / If the Ethertype is TRILL but the mutlicast DA is not ALL-Rbridge; or if the Ethertype is L2-IS-ISIS but the multicast DA/ 6.0 p. 19 Change / NOTE: LBM, MTV, PT are not subject to MA de-multipliexers./ to / Note: LBM, MTV*, PT* are not subject to MA de-multiplixers./ 6.1 p. 21 change in figure /PT MTV/ to /PT* MTV*/ 7. p. 22 - section 12. is odd in the text. Either use 12.0 or section 12 Change / section 12. below for the theory/ to /change 12 below for the theory/ 9.2.1 p. 37 change /Assign/Assigns/ 11.2.1 p. 42 para 3 change /the originating RBridge/ to /the originating RBridges does the following/ indent para 4-10 para 4 change /obtain/obtains/ para 5 change /construct/constructs/ para 6 change /TRILL OAM Application Identifier TLV MUST BE INCLUDED/ to /INCLUDES the TRILL OAM Application Identifier TLV which MUST BE INCLUDED/ para 7 change /Op-code MUST/ to /incorporates Op-Code which MUST/ para 8 change /Include/Includes/ para 10 change /user./to /user; and/ 12. para 1: change /Section 7./ to /Section 7/ 16.2 [RFCclcorrect] to RFC7180 [TRILLEXT] to RFC7179
- [trill] Mail Shepherd's comments on draft-ietf-tr… Susan Hares
- Re: [trill] Mail Shepherd's comments on draft-iet… Tissa Senevirathne (tsenevir)
- Re: [trill] Mail Shepherd's comments on draft-iet… Liyizhou
- Re: [trill] Mail Shepherd's comments on draft-iet… Donald Eastlake