Re: [trill] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-trill-over-ip-15

Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com> Fri, 09 March 2018 00:32 UTC

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From: Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2018 19:31:44 -0500
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To: Matthew Miller <linuxwolf+ietf@outer-planes.net>
Cc: "gen-art@ietf.org Review Team" <gen-art@ietf.org>, trill IETF mailing list <trill@ietf.org>, IETF Discussion <ietf@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-trill-over-ip.all@ietf.org
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Subject: Re: [trill] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-trill-over-ip-15
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Hi Matthew,

On Thu, Mar 8, 2018 at 1:59 AM, Matthew Miller
<linuxwolf+ietf@outer-planes.net> wrote:
> Reviewer: Matthew Miller
> Review result: Ready with Nits
>
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-trill-over-ip-15
> Reviewer: Matthew A. Miller
> Review Date: 2018-03-07
> IETF LC End Date: 2018-03-06
> IESG Telechat date: 2018-03-08
>
> Summary:  Ready with nits
>
> Major issues: NONE
>
> Minor issues: NONE
>
> Nits/editorial comments:

I find the way you have formatted your comments to be confusing. I
think there should be a clear demarkation where all the material
related to a comment ends and that for the next comment begins. You
seem to use the same unusual triple double quotation mark delimiter
between your comment and your marked up text from the draft related to
that comment.

> * In Section 4.5. "TRILL Over IP Transport IS-IS SubNetwork Point
> of Attachment", the word "of" between ""
>
> """
> The Hellos transmitted out [of] a port indicate what neighbor ports
> that port can see on the link by listing what IS-IS refers to as the
> neighbor port's SubNetwork Point of Attachment (SNPA)
> """
>
> * In Section 5.2. "Encapsulation Agreement", the first sentence is
> difficult to understand; I think it is missing the word "on" between
> "sent out" and "a TRILL over IP":
>
> """
> TRILL Hellos sent out [on] a TRILL over IP transport port indicate the
> encapsulations for which that port is offering full support through a
> mechanism initially specified in [RFC7178] and [RFC7176] that is
> hereby extended.
> """

I do not think the insertions you recommend are necessary but I'm
willing to make them.

> * In Section 5.4. "Native Encapsulation", the word "he" should be
> "the" in the sentence "Where he UDP Header is as follows".

OK

> * In Section 5.6.1. "TCP Connection Establishment", the word
> "connections" should be singular (or the leading "a" dropped) in the
> fragment "try to establish a TCP connections to each of them".

Changing "connections" to "connection" seems best.

> * In Section 5.6.1. "TCP Connection Establishment", the occurrence of
> "P!" should be changed to "P1".

OK.

Thanks,
Donald
===============================
 Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
 155 Beaver Street, Milford, MA 01757 USA
 d3e3e3@gmail.com