[trill] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-trill-over-ip-15

Matthew Miller <linuxwolf+ietf@outer-planes.net> Thu, 08 March 2018 06:59 UTC

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From: Matthew Miller <linuxwolf+ietf@outer-planes.net>
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Date: Wed, 07 Mar 2018 22:59:36 -0800
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Subject: [trill] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-trill-over-ip-15
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Reviewer: Matthew Miller
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-trill-over-ip-15
Reviewer: Matthew A. Miller
Review Date: 2018-03-07
IETF LC End Date: 2018-03-06
IESG Telechat date: 2018-03-08

Summary:  Ready with nits

Major issues: NONE

Minor issues: NONE

Nits/editorial comments:

* In Section 4.5. "TRILL Over IP Transport IS-IS SubNetwork Point
of Attachment", the word "of" between ""

"""
The Hellos transmitted out [of] a port indicate what neighbor ports
that port can see on the link by listing what IS-IS refers to as the
neighbor port's SubNetwork Point of Attachment (SNPA)
"""

* In Section 5.2. "Encapsulation Agreement", the first sentence is
difficult to understand; I think it is missing the word "on" between
"sent out" and "a TRILL over IP":

"""
TRILL Hellos sent out [on] a TRILL over IP transport port indicate the
encapsulations for which that port is offering full support through a
mechanism initially specified in [RFC7178] and [RFC7176] that is
hereby extended.
"""

* In Section 5.4. "Native Encapsulation", the word "he" should be
"the" in the sentence "Where he UDP Header is as follows".

* In Section 5.6.1. "TCP Connection Establishment", the word
"connections" should be singular (or the leading "a" dropped) in the
fragment "try to establish a TCP connections to each of them".

* In Section 5.6.1. "TCP Connection Establishment", the occurrence of
"P!" should be changed to "P1".