[tsvwg] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on draft-ietf-tsvwg-datagram-plpmtud-17: (with COMMENT)

Murray Kucherawy via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Tue, 31 March 2020 16:26 UTC

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Subject: [tsvwg] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on draft-ietf-tsvwg-datagram-plpmtud-17: (with COMMENT)
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Murray Kucherawy has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-tsvwg-datagram-plpmtud-17: No Objection

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Kudos on a very approachable document.  The thin air up in the ART layers had
me fearing something that said "TSVWG" on it.

Section 2:
* The definition for EMTU_R appears to double up on itself.

Section 3:
* In bullet 2, "On request, a DPLPMTUD sender is REQUIRED to be able to
transmit a packet  ..." -- I read this as "If I ask you to do X, you MUST be
able to do X", versus "you MUST do X".  Was that the intent? * In bullet 3,
there's reference to a "feedback method" that is REQUIRED, but this method is
unspecified.  Is that defined elsewhere, or is out of scope here?

Section 4.1:
Nits:
* "... uses a probe packet carrying an application data ..." -- s/an//
* "... this probe packet, could perform ..." -- s/,//
* "This retransmited data block ..." --  typo: "retransmitted"

Section 4.3:
* PROBE_COUNT and MAX_PROBES are first used here, though they are not defined
until later in the document in the DPLPMTUD section. Nit: * "... data is sent
again, MAY choose ..." -- s/,//

Section 4.4:
Nit:
* "... over clearing the DF-bit in the IPv4 header ..." -- s/-/ /

Section 4.6.1:
* "For example, by checking the value ..." -- Suggest: "For example, it could
check the value..." Nit: * "... from a router or middlebox, performs ..." --
s/,//

Section 5:
Nit:
* "... in a lower layer, DPLPMTUD SHOULD only ..." -- s/,/./

Section 5.1.1:
Nit:
* "... use an up-to-data PMTU once ..." -- I think you mean "up-to-date"

Section 5.1.2:
Nit:
* "... from a MAX_PROBES valugreater than 1 because ..." -- s/valugreater/value
greater/

Section 5.3.3:
Nit:
* "... inconsistent, when, for example, ..." -- remove the first comma

Section 6.1.1:
Nit:
* "... from off-path insertion of data [RFC8085], suitable methods include ..."
-- s/, s/. S/

Section 6.3.2:
Nit:
* "... packets of the required size, this sets the ..." -- either s/, t/. T/,
or s/this/which/

Section 9:
"Parallel forwarding paths SHOULD be considered."  What is the specific action
being recommended here? Nits: * "This protection if provided ..." -- s/if/is/ *
"... design (see Section 1.1), this method therefore ..."  -- I think "this"
should begin a new sentence. * "An on-path attacker, able to create ..." --
remove comma * "This could occur when there are multiple paths are concurrently
in use." -- s/there are//