Re: [xrblock] Unclear paragraph in draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-discard-13

Gonzalo Camarillo <Gonzalo.Camarillo@ericsson.com> Mon, 20 May 2013 05:54 UTC

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Date: Mon, 20 May 2013 08:54:35 +0300
From: Gonzalo Camarillo <Gonzalo.Camarillo@ericsson.com>
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To: Qin Wu <bill.wu@huawei.com>
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Cc: "xrblock@ietf.org" <xrblock@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [xrblock] Unclear paragraph in draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-discard-13
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Hi Qin,

thanks for the clarification. Additionally, I would fix the language of
that paragraph (prepositions, articles, verbs, typos, ...). Something
along these lines:

   When a Discard Count Metrics Block is sent together with a Burst Gap
   Discard Metrics Block (defined in [BGDISCARD]) to the media sender or
   RTP based network management system, the information carried in the
   Discard Count Metrics Block and the Burst Gap Discard Metrics Block
   allows systems receiving the blocks to calculate burst gap
   summary statistics (e.g., the gap discard rate).

Feel free to edit the text if there is something you do not like.

Cheers,

Gonzalo

On 20/05/2013 4:15 AM, Qin Wu wrote:
> One small change to the proposed text:
> s/systems receiving the report/systems receiving the blocks
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Qin Wu 
> Sent: Monday, May 20, 2013 9:03 AM
> To: 'Gonzalo Camarillo'; xrblock@ietf.org
> Cc: 'Glen Zorn'
> Subject: RE: [xrblock] Unclear paragraph in draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-discard-13
> 
> Hi, Gonzalo:
> We believe you are referring to "them" in this paragraph not clear.
> "them" is corresponding to "media sender or RTP based network management system"
> in this paragraph.
> So how about the following change:
> OLD TEXT:
> "
>    In case of Discard Count Metrics Block sent together with Burst Gap
>    Discard Metrics Block defined in [BGDISCARD] to the media sender or
>    RTP based network management system, information carried in the
>    Discard Count Metrics Block and Burst Gap Discard Metrics Block
>    allows them calculate the some bust gap summary statistics, e.g., gap
>    discard rate.
> "
> NEW TEXT:
> "
>    In case of Discard Count Metrics Block sent together with Burst Gap
>    Discard Metrics Block defined in [BGDISCARD] to the media sender or
>    RTP based network management system, information carried in the
>    Discard Count Metrics Block and Burst Gap Discard Metrics Block
>    allows systems receiving the report to calculate the some bust gap 
>    summary statistics, e.g., gap discard rate.
> "
> Hope this clarifies.
> 
> Regards!
> -Qin & Glen
> -----Original Message-----
> From: xrblock-bounces@ietf.org [mailto:xrblock-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Gonzalo Camarillo
> Sent: Friday, May 17, 2013 7:36 PM
> To: xrblock@ietf.org
> Subject: [xrblock] Unclear paragraph in draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-discard-13
> 
> Hi,
> 
> the following paragraph, in draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-discard-13, is a
> bit unclear:
> 
>    In case of Discard Count Metrics Block sent together with Burst Gap
>    Discard Metrics Block defined in [BGDISCARD] to the media sender or
>    RTP based network management system, information carried in the
>    Discard Count Metrics Block and Burst Gap Discard Metrics Block
>    allows them calculate the some bust gap summary statistics, e.g., gap
>    discard rate.
> 
> Authors, could you please fix it (i.e., clarify it) so that I can
> initiate an IETF LC on this draft?
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Gonzalo
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