Re: [xrblock] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-pdv-06.txt

Glen Zorn <glenzorn@gmail.com> Mon, 17 September 2012 15:59 UTC

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Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2012 22:59:01 +0700
From: Glen Zorn <glenzorn@gmail.com>
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Cc: xrblock@ietf.org
Subject: Re: [xrblock] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-pdv-06.txt
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On 09/16/2012 03:55 PM, Romascanu, Dan (Dan) wrote:
> A revised version of raft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-pdv was issued in order
> to address the problems raised in DISCUSSes and COMMENTs during the IESG
> review.
>
> We believe that the changes are editorial and clarification in nature,
> they do not affect bits on the wire and improve the quality of the
> document. However, more scrutiny from the other WG participants never
> harms. Please read the revised version and let us know before 9/21 if
> you see any problems.
>
> Thanks and Regards,
>
> Dan

The change to Section i.1 introduced a punctuation error: s/,,/,/

I find the change to Section 1.4 rather confusing:


                 Application designers can know the range of delay 
variation they must
                 accommodate, whether they are designing fixed or 
adaptive buffer
                 systems.

Are these app designers clairvoyant?  If not, how can they "know the 
range of delay variation they must accommodate, whether they are 
designing fixed or adaptive buffer systems" from measurements that can't 
be made until the system is not only implemented but deployed (at least 
in a test bed)?  The next sentence doesn't make much sense, either, as 
written.  I suggest deleting the first and rewriting the second to make 
more sense; for example: "For example, network managers can use this 
metric to compare actual delay variation to targets (i.e., a numerical 
objective or Service Level Agreement) to help ensure the quality of 
real-time application performance." Or something like that.

What does Section 2 mean?  How can one use an entire RFC as a 
"terminology statement"?  Does it actually mean "This document uses ABNF 
notation [RFC5234] in Section 4."?   If so, just say that; OTOH, since 
the ABNF usage is in the context of SDP & RFC 3611 both references the 
ABNF spec and is listed as a normative reference in this draft, why 
bother?  I suggest just deleting Section 2.


>
> -----Original Message-----
> From:xrblock-bounces@ietf.org  [mailto:xrblock-bounces@ietf.org] On
> Behalf Ofinternet-drafts@ietf.org
> Sent: Friday, September 14, 2012 12:26 PM
> To:i-d-announce@ietf.org
> Cc:xrblock@ietf.org
> Subject: [xrblock] I-D Action: draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-pdv-06.txt
>
>
> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts
> directories.
>   This draft is a work item of the Metric Blocks for use with RTCP's
> Extended Report Framework Working Group of the IETF.
>
> 	Title           : RTCP XR Report Block for Packet Delay
> Variation Metric Reporting
> 	Author(s)       : Alan Clark
>                            Qin Wu
> 	Filename        : draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-pdv-06.txt
> 	Pages           : 21
> 	Date            : 2012-09-14
>
> Abstract:
>     This document defines a Real-Time Control Protocol (RTCP) Extended
>     Report (XR) block that allows the reporting of Packet Delay Variation
>     metrics for a range of Real-time Transport Protocol (RTP)
>     applications.
>
>
> The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-pdv
>
> There's also a htmlized version available at:
> http://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-pdv-06
>
> A diff from the previous version is available at:
> http://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp-xr-pdv-06
>
>
> Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
> ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/
>
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