Re: [yang-doctors] [I2nsf] YANG Doctors Working Group Last Call Review for draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-06

"Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com> Wed, 06 November 2019 02:09 UTC

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From: "Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 2019 11:08:36 +0900
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To: "Acee Lindem (acee)" <acee@cisco.com>
Cc: "draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm@ietf.org>, "i2nsf-ads@ietf.org" <i2nsf-ads@ietf.org>, "i2nsf@ietf.org" <i2nsf@ietf.org>, YANG Doctors <yang-doctors@ietf.org>, skku-iotlab-members@googlegroups.com, "Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>
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Subject: Re: [yang-doctors] [I2nsf] YANG Doctors Working Group Last Call Review for draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-06
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Hi Acee,
I believe that I have addressed your comments on I2NSF NSF-Facing Interface
Data Model:
https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-08

If you are satisfied with the revision, could you update the Review result
in the following page?
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/review-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-06-yangdoctors-lc-lindem-2019-06-22/

Thanks.

Best Regards,
Paul

On Mon, Nov 4, 2019 at 9:37 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <
jaehoon.paul@gmail.com>; wrote:

> Hi Acee,
> I have reflected all your comments in the revised I-D of NSF-Facing
> Interface YANG Data Model:
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-08
>
> I attach the revision letter to explain how I reflected your comments on
> each of your comments.
>
> If you have questions, please let me know.
>
> Best Regards,
> Paul
>
> On Sun, Jun 23, 2019 at 3:03 AM Acee Lindem (acee) <acee@cisco.com>; wrote:
>
>> I have reviewed this document as part of the YANG doctors directorate's
>>
>> ongoing effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.
>> These
>>
>> comments were written with the intent of improving the operational
>> aspects of the
>>
>> IETF drafts. Comments that are not addressed in last call may be included
>> in AD reviews
>>
>> during the IESG review.  Document editors and WG chairs should treat
>> these comments
>>
>> just like any other early review comments.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Document: draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-06
>>
>> Reviewer: Acee Lindem
>>
>> Review Date: June 22, 2019
>>
>> Review Type: Working Group Last Call
>>
>> Intended Status: Standards Track
>>
>> Summary: Needs to go back to Working Group for rework and another WGLC
>>
>>
>>
>> Modules: "ietf-i2nsf-policy-rule-for-nsf@2019-06-12.yang";
>>
>>
>>
>> Tech Summary: The model defines different types of I2NSF security policy.
>> Each
>>
>>                              is comprised of an event, a condition, and
>> an action. There is
>>
>>                              significant overlap with other IETF models.
>> Within I2NSF, there
>>
>>                              is repetition of definitions which needs to
>> go into a common
>>
>>                              I2NSF types module.  Additionally, the data
>> descriptions were
>>
>>                               were done quickly and never reviewed or
>> edited. I believe
>>
>>                              it needs to go back to the working group for
>> another revision and
>>
>>                              working group last call.
>>
>> .
>>
>>
>>
>> Major Comments:
>>
>>
>>
>>  1. Why don't you leverage the definitions in RFC 8519 for packet
>> matching?
>>
>>     We don't need all this defined again.
>>
>>
>>
>>  2. Date and time are defined in RFC 6991. Why don't those suffice?
>>
>>
>>
>>  3. Refer to the intervals as "time-intervals" rather than "time-zones".
>>
>>     The term "time-zone" has a completely different connotation.
>>
>>
>>
>>  4. What the "acl-number"? Also, ACLs are named (RFC 8519). Also, why
>>
>>     define all the packet matching and then reference an ACL.
>>
>>
>>
>>  5. The descriptions are very awkwardly worded and in many cases simply
>>
>>     repeat the data node or identify description without hyphens. I
>>
>>     started trying to fix this but it was too much. I'll pass for on
>>
>>     for some examples. There are enough co-authors and contributors that
>>
>>     one would expect much better.
>>
>>
>>
>>  6. There is overlap of definitions with the I2NSF capabilities draft.
>>
>>     The common types and identities should be factored into a common
>>
>>     I2NSF types module.
>>
>>
>>
>>  7. The "Security Considerations" in section 8 do not conform to the
>>
>>     recommended template in
>> https://trac.ietf.org/trac/ops/wiki/yang-security-
>>
>>     guidelines>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Minor Comments:
>>
>>
>>
>>  1. Section 3.1 should reference RFC8340 rather than attempting to
>>
>>     include tree diagram formatting semantics.
>>
>>
>>
>>  2. "iiprfn" is a poor choice for default model prefix - I suggest
>>
>>     "nsfintf". It is only one character longer and actually is expands
>>
>>      to something meaningful.
>>
>>
>>
>>  3. RFC 2460 is obsoleted by RFC 8200.
>>
>>
>>
>>  4. RFC 791 is the wrong reference for IPv4 TOS. It should be RFC 1394.
>>
>>
>>
>>  5. What is the IGRP protocol? I'm familiar with EIGRP but not IGRP.
>>
>>
>>
>>  6. What is the skip protocol? Is this about skipping the check? If so,
>>
>>     why is it needed.
>>
>>
>>
>>  7. Reference for IPv6 ICMP should be RFC 2463.
>>
>>
>>
>>  8. Why do you include Photuris definitions? Nobody uses this.
>>
>>
>>
>>  9. Note that all the keys for all 'config true' lists must be
>>
>>     unique so your specification in the description as well as
>>
>>     'mandatory true' are redundant for the 'rules' list. This
>>
>>     mistake is in other lists as well.
>>
>>
>>
>> 10. What is 'during' time?
>>
>>
>>
>> 11. What is a "security-grp"? Is this a security-group?
>>
>>
>>
>> 12. The module prologue doesn't match the example in Appendix B of
>>
>>     RFC 8407.
>>
>>
>>
>> 13. There needs to be a good definition of absolute and periodic
>>
>>        time in the descriptions.
>>
>>
>>
>> 14. The References do not include all the RFCs referenced by YANG
>>
>>     model reference statements.
>>
>>
>>
>> Nits: Will send diff to authors and i2nsf chairs as example of review
>> that should be done on YANG documents prior to sending to YANG doctors.
>>
>>
>>
>> Thanks,
>> Acee
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> I2nsf mailing list
>> I2nsf@ietf.org
>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/i2nsf
>>
>
>
> --
> ===========================
> Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D.
> Associate Professor
> Department of Software
> Sungkyunkwan University
> Office: +82-31-299-4957
> Email: jaehoon.paul@gmail.com, pauljeong@skku.edu
> Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php
> <http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php>
>


-- 
===========================
Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D.
Associate Professor
Department of Software
Sungkyunkwan University
Office: +82-31-299-4957
Email: jaehoon.paul@gmail.com, pauljeong@skku.edu
Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php
<http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php>