[dhcwg] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-dhc-dhcp4o6-saddr-opt-04

[Elwyn Davies <[e-mail]>]

Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review result: Ready with Nits

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Document: draft-ietf-dhc-dhcp4o6-saddr-opt-04
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2018-09-06
IETF LC End Date: 2018-09-07
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: Ready with nits. Thanks - well written and almost all quite clear.

Major issues:
None

Minor issues:
s7.4:
>    o  The received bindprefix6-len value is not larger than the number
>       of bytes, divided by 8, received in the bind-ipv6-prefix field.
>       (e.g. the bindprefix6-len is 128 but the bind-ipv6-prefix field is
>       only 8 bytes long).
Given that s6.1 gives a deterministic algorithm for calculating the length of
the bind-ipv6-prefix field, I don't understand why the validation does not
check that the length of the field is exactly as specified by this algorithm
rather than using it as a lower limit.

s7.5 and s8 (last para): Given that the time constraints and number of retries
will interact and are implemented in different devices, I think these two
values need some sensible defaults defined so that devices from different
sources should interoperate successfully out of the box.

Nits/editorial comments:
General: s/e.g./e.g.,/g

Abstract, sentence 2: Introduce DHCP 4o6 abbreviation: s/For DHCPv4 over
DHCPv6/For DHCPv4 over DHCPv6 (DHCP 4o6)/.

Abstract: Add mention of RFC 6346 and RFC 7598 for explanation of softwire
scheme.

Abstract, para 2: Expand ORO (Option Request Option) and give ref to rfc3315bis.

s1, para 3:  s/attached to any routable IPv6 prefix/attached to a network
segment using any routable IPv6 prefix/

s4, para 1: It would be useful to remind readers of the expansion of BR in
OPTION_S46_BR:  Maybe s/the remote IPv6 address for the softwire/the remote
IPv6 address used for the softwire border router/

s4, para 1: Expand ULA (not a well-known abbreviation).

s7.2.1, para 1: 'flash' is colloquial and may not be generally understood.  I
think it can safely be removed.

s7.4, para after bullets: s/For either of these cases,/If either check fails,/

s10: To be absolutely clear, there are two instances where the following change
ought to be made: OLD: in the table at
https://www.iana.org/assignments/dhcpv6-parameters: NEW: in the Option Codes
table at https://www.iana.org/assignments/dhcpv6-parameters: ENDS