Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6man-rfc6434-bis-09

Vijay Gurbani <vijay.gurbani@nokia.com> Mon, 16 July 2018 20:05 UTC

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From: Vijay Gurbani <vijay.gurbani@nokia.com>
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: draft-ietf-6man-rfc6434-bis.all@ietf.org, ipv6@ietf.org, ietf@ietf.org
Subject: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6man-rfc6434-bis-09
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Message-ID: <153177153825.21665.13283190891895759143@ietfa.amsl.com>
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2018 13:05:38 -0700
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/ipv6/7dtH6nah0ylSdugON0yR3MFP0zA>

Reviewer: Vijay Gurbani
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

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Document: draft-ietf-6man-rfc6434-bis-09
Reviewer: Vijay Gurbani
Review Date: 2018-07-16
IETF LC End Date: 2018-06-25
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: Ready with nits.

Major issues: None.

Minor issues: None.

Nits/editorial comments:
- S5.2: last paragraph, s/header can not/header cannot/
  (I understand that technically these are similar, however, 'cannot' is
   preferred for more formal writing styles like the RFC series.)

- S5.3: first paragraph, s/the processing of/the processing burden of/

- S5.3: second paragraph, s/if the more than/if more than/

- S14.3, second paragraph: s/In simple deployments,/In simple deployments/

- S14.3, third paragraph: s/complex deployment scenarios, such as/complex
deployment scenarios such as/

(there are a number of places where such gratuitous commas are used, perhaps a
good round of edit by the authors will eliminate these)

- S15, last paragraph: s/it SHOULD want to/SHOULD/

Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6man-rfc643… Vijay Gurbani