[6lo] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-6lo-plc-06: (with COMMENT)

Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Fri, 06 August 2021 08:07 UTC

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Subject: [6lo] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-6lo-plc-06: (with COMMENT)
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Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-6lo-plc-06: No Objection

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Section 3.1. , paragraph 4, comment:
>                        Figure 1: PLC Protocol Stack

Since this says "TCP/UDP", are other transport protocols not supported? Or else
should this say "Transport Layer" instead?

Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more
guidance:

 * Term "master"; alternatives might be "active", "central", "initiator",
   "leader", "main", "orchestrator", "parent", "primary", "server".

 * Term "natively"; alternatives might be "built-in", "fundamental",
   "ingrained", "intrinsic", "original".

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Section 1. , paragraph 3, nit:
-    been fully adapted for IPv6 based constrained networks.  The
-                               ^
-    resource-constrained IoT related scenarios lie in the low voltage PLC
-                            ^
+    been fully adapted for IPv6-based constrained networks.  The
+                               ^
+    resource-constrained IoT-related scenarios lie in the low voltage PLC
+                            ^

Section 1. , paragraph 3, nit:
-    networks, due to its large address space and efficent address auto-
+    networks, due to its large address space and efficient address auto-
+                                                      +

Section 1. , paragraph 4, nit:
-    them have LLN (low power and lossy network) characteristics, i.e.
+    them have LLN (low power and lossy network) characteristics, i.e.,
+                                                                     +

Section 3.3. , paragraph 4, nit:
-    MTU in high-noise communication environment.  Thus the 6lo functions,
+    MTU in high-noise communication environments.  Thus, the 6lo functions,
+                                               +       +

Section 3.3. , paragraph 5, nit:
-    required for G.9903-based networks to adapt IPv6.
-                                           ^^^^
+    required for G.9903-based networks to carry IPv6.
+                                          + ^^^

Section 3.4. , paragraph 3, nit:
-       is a layer 3 routing protocol.  AODV-RPL [I-D.ietf-roll-aodv-rpl]
-                 ^
+       is a layer-3 routing protocol.  AODV-RPL [I-D.ietf-roll-aodv-rpl]
+                 ^

Section 3.4. , paragraph 4, nit:
-    o  IEEE 1901.1 supports L2 routing.  Each PLC node maintains a L2
+    o  IEEE 1901.1 supports L2 routing.  Each PLC node maintains an L2
+                                                                  +

Section 4. , paragraph 2, nit:
-    [RFC8505] provides useful functionality including link-local IPv6
-                     -
+    [RFC8505] provide useful functionality including link-local IPv6

Section 4.4. , paragraph 3, nit:
-    layer 3 routing protocol, such as RPL, which may includes the prefix
-         ^
+    layer-3 routing protocol, such as RPL, which may includes the prefix
+         ^

Section 4.4. , paragraph 5, nit:
-    sending Neighbor Solicitaitons in order to extract the status
-                              -
+    sending Neighbor Solicitations in order to extract the status
+                             +

Section 4.6. , paragraph 3, nit:
-    octects, the fragmentation and reassembly defined in [RFC4944] MUST
-        -
+    octets, the fragmentation and reassembly defined in [RFC4944] MUST

Section 4.6. , paragraph 5, nit:
-    frequent incorrectly assembled IP fragments.  For constranied PLC,
-                                                              -
+    frequent incorrectly assembled IP fragments.  For constrained PLC,
+                                                             +

Section 4.6. , paragraph 5, nit:
-    thus the 16-bit tag is sufficient to assemble the fragements
-                                                          -
+    thus the 16-bit tag is sufficient to assemble the fragments

Section 4.4. , paragraph 6, nit:
> ets and 1576 octets respectively. However when the channel condition is nois
>                                   ^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "However".

Document references draft-ietf-emu-eap-noob-03, but -05 is the latest available
revision.

Document references draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-security, but that has been
published as RFC9031.

Obsolete reference to RFC4941, obsoleted by RFC8981 (this may be on purpose).

Document references draft-ietf-roll-aodv-rpl-08, but -10 is the latest
available revision.

Document references draft-ietf-roll-unaware-leaves, but that has been published
as RFC9010.

Obsolete reference to RFC3315, obsoleted by RFC8415 (this may be on purpose).