Re: [alto] I-D Action: draft-ietf-alto-oam-yang-03.txt

["Sabine Randriamasy (Nokia)" <[e-mail]>]

Hi Jensen and co-authors,

Please find some other comments on your draft below.
Best regards,
Sabine

-----------------------------------------------------
Comments
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1. Introduction

--- This section looks quite short and should be enriched with some motivation, maybe before parags 1 and 2. 

--- Even if listed in Section 4.1, a paragraph should be inserted between 1 and 2 on the scope of the data models should be outlined together with what is not in scope.  

--- parag 1. "The basic purpose of this YANG data model is discussed in Section 16 of [RFC7285]"

Section 16 in 7285 is 5 pages long and has a lot of subsections. It is hard to see where the basic purpose can be found.  Maybe add a more accurate reference.

--- parag 2. "The basic structure of this YANG data model is guided by Section 16 of [RFC7285]". Similar to preceding comment, please elaborate. 

--- An additional paragraph listing the main sections of this document and their purpose would help. 

4.4. Overview of ALTO O&M Data Model for Reference ALTO Architecture
"Figure 1 shows a reference architecture for ALTO server
implementation and YANG modules that server components implement." 
Do you mean "modules that these server components need to implement."? 

5.3.1.2. ALTO Server Discovery Setup
"the IP prefixes in the scope" can you clarify on the "scope"?  

5.4.2. ALTO Information Resources Configuration Management

--- "The developer cannot customize": is the term "cannot" supposed to be normative? Does this mean "MUST NOT" or "SHOULD NOT" or rather "it is not possible for the developer to customize"? In other word, this sentence should say what prevents a developper from customizing and possibly why. 

6.2. Model for ALTO-specific Performance Monitoring 
"ALTO-specific performance metrics" can you explain what this covers? Do you mean "ALTO-specific server performance metrics"?
Can you explain the meaning of metrics "Total amount and distribution of traffic" and "Application performance"? 

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Wording & nits
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I grabbed some nits here and there but, for a comprehensive non-redundant spell check,  it is more efficient to wait for the WGLC-ready version. 

--- 4.4 
s/performance monitor and logging and fault manager/performance monitor, logging and fault manager
s/ scope of the data model/ scope of the data models  
s/ user specified/ user-specified

--- 5.3.1.2. ALTO Server Discovery Setup
s/manual configured/manually configured

--- 5.4.2. ALTO Information Resources Configuration Management
s/resoruce/resource
s/One categories/One category
s/The other categories/The other category
Maybe "ird" should be capped. "IRD" improves readability, together with expanding the acronym at first use.  

--- 7.1. The ietf-alto Module 
s/identity nomial/identity nominal


>-----Original Message-----
>From: alto <[e-mail]> On Behalf Of [e-mail]
>Sent: Saturday, February 11, 2023 3:53 AM
>To: [e-mail]
>Cc: [e-mail]
>Subject: [alto] I-D Action: draft-ietf-alto-oam-yang-03.txt
>
>
>A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts directories.
>This draft is a work item of the Application-Layer Traffic Optimization WG of the
>IETF.
>
>        Title           : A Yang Data Model for OAM and Management of ALTO Protocol
>        Authors         : Jingxuan Jensen Zhang
>                          Dhruv Dhody
>                          Kai Gao
>                          Roland Schott
>  Filename        : draft-ietf-alto-oam-yang-03.txt
>  Pages           : 65
>  Date            : 2023-02-10
>
>Abstract:
>   This document defines a YANG data model for Operations,
>   Administration, and Maintenance (OAM) & Management of Application-
>   Layer Traffic Optimization (ALTO) Protocol.  The operator can use the
>   data model to create and update ALTO information resources, manage
>   the access control, configure server-to-server communication and
>   server discovery, and collect statistical data.
>
>
>The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
>https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-alto-oam-yang/
>
>There is also an HTML version available at:
>https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-alto-oam-yang-03.html
>
>A diff from the previous version is available at:
>https://author-tools.ietf.org/iddiff?url2=draft-ietf-alto-oam-yang-03
>
>
>Internet-Drafts are also available by rsync at rsync.ietf.org::internet-drafts
>
>
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