Re: [apps-discuss] Apps area review: draft-ietf-geopriv-rfc3825bis-14

On Wed, 1 Dec 2010, Vijay K. Gurbani wrote:

> I have been selected as the Applications Area Review Team reviewer for
> this draft (for background on apps-review, please see
> http://www.apps.ietf.org/content/applications-area-review-team).

?? some misreading of assignment? I did the review of 
draft-ietf-geopriv-rfc3825bis-14 yesterday.  :-)

you were suppoused to review this one:

1.
<https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-sipcore-event-rate-control/>:
Session Initiation Protocol (SIP) Event Notification Extension for
Notification Rate Control

Assigned to Vijay Gurbani

Anyhow... additional nits also for draft-ietf-geopriv-rfc3825bis-14  are 
always welcome... but now draft-ietf-sipcore-event-rate-control needs a 
review.

;-)

Claudio

> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> you may receive. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
> or AD before posting a new version of the draft.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-geopriv-rfc3825bis-14
> Title: Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol Options for
>       Coordinate-based Location Configuration Information
> Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
> Review Date: Dec-1-2010
> IETF Last Call Date: Not known
> IESG Telechat Date: Dec-2-2010
> Summary: This draft is ready for publication as a Proposed Standard.
> I have some nits that could possibly be addressed.
>
> Nits:
>
> 1) S1: s/has a range of/is useful for a range of/
>
> 2) In S1, the phrase "where retrieving it might be difficult
> in practice" --- what is it qualifying?  The fact that the
> information is stored on the end device? or the fact that
> location information is stored somewhere else on the network?
> I suspect it is the latter, but just wanted to make sure.
>
> It could possibly be reworded as:
>
> OLD:
>   An important feature of this specification is that after the relevant
>   DHCP exchanges have taken place, the location information is stored
>   on the end device rather than somewhere else, where retrieving it
>   might be difficult in practice.
> NEW:
>   An important feature of this specification is that after the relevant
>   DHCP exchanges have taken place, the location information is stored
>   on the end device rather than somewhere else. Storing this
>   information at a place other than the end device makes retrieving it
>   difficult in practice.
>
> 3) S1.2, suggested re-write:
> s/In this document, each of the three axes can be/In this document,
> each of the three axes --- Latitude, Longitude and Altitude --- can be/
>
> Thanks,
>
> - vijay
> -- 
> Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
> 1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60566 (USA)
> Email: vkg@{alcatel-lucent.com,bell-labs.com,acm.org}
> Web:   http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/
> _______________________________________________
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>

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