Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9447 <draft-ietf-acme-authority-token-09> for your review

["Peterson, Jon" <[e-mail]>]

Please see my responses marked as <JFP> below. Thanks!

From: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>
Date: Tuesday, July 25, 2023 at 1:56 AM
To: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>
Cc: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9447 <draft-ietf-acme-authority-token-09> for your review
Authors,

While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.

1) <!--[rfced] Please note the the title of the document has been updated as follows.
The abbreviation has been expanded per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide").
Please review.

Original:
ACME Challenges Using an Authority Token

Current:
Automated Certificate Management Environment (ACME) Challenges Using an Authority Token
-->

<JFP> OK


2) <!--[rfced] For clarity, should "Authority" be "Token Authority" here?

Original:
   For example, imagine a case where an Authority for DNS names knows
   that a client is eligible to receive certificates for "https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__example.com&d=DwIFaQ&c=7gn0PlAmraV3zr-k385KhKAz9NTx0dwockj5vIsr5Sw&r=rQo6AhlF8tKhxgONBTTPp2dKudYXajoA6N78vvkOkzA&m=H9shfntLUEToiZuf9zJVeNTFWR__v4jo7gIYfcjo6g_RlQcEpklq74DmoqBuqfP-&s=FSP3n0qEZdE4lnN1EPjigIr1blbyoY7QMUl1ZNCvZpQ&e= "
   and "https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__example.net&d=DwIFaQ&c=7gn0PlAmraV3zr-k385KhKAz9NTx0dwockj5vIsr5Sw&r=rQo6AhlF8tKhxgONBTTPp2dKudYXajoA6N78vvkOkzA&m=H9shfntLUEToiZuf9zJVeNTFWR__v4jo7gIYfcjo6g_RlQcEpklq74DmoqBuqfP-&s=4D7dUBWOxRL7tTWU2ITbtLplCX7E9Qd3UwLDnUwylWo&e= ".

Perhaps:
   For example, imagine a case where a Token Authority for DNS names knows
   that a client is eligible to receive certificates for "https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__example.com&d=DwIFaQ&c=7gn0PlAmraV3zr-k385KhKAz9NTx0dwockj5vIsr5Sw&r=rQo6AhlF8tKhxgONBTTPp2dKudYXajoA6N78vvkOkzA&m=H9shfntLUEToiZuf9zJVeNTFWR__v4jo7gIYfcjo6g_RlQcEpklq74DmoqBuqfP-&s=FSP3n0qEZdE4lnN1EPjigIr1blbyoY7QMUl1ZNCvZpQ&e= "
   and "https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__example.net&d=DwIFaQ&c=7gn0PlAmraV3zr-k385KhKAz9NTx0dwockj5vIsr5Sw&r=rQo6AhlF8tKhxgONBTTPp2dKudYXajoA6N78vvkOkzA&m=H9shfntLUEToiZuf9zJVeNTFWR__v4jo7gIYfcjo6g_RlQcEpklq74DmoqBuqfP-&s=4D7dUBWOxRL7tTWU2ITbtLplCX7E9Qd3UwLDnUwylWo&e= ".

<JFP> OK. Below is not correct.


Similarly (for the reverse), should "Token" be "Authority Token" here?
Or, perhaps using just one word was intended to mitigate confusion?

Original:
   ...an ACME server can use the
   binding to determine that a Token presented by a client was in fact
   granted by the Token Authority based on a request from the client,
   and not from some other entity.

Perhaps:
   ...an ACME server can use the
   binding to determine that an Authority Token presented by a client was in fact
   granted by the Token Authority based on a request from the client,
   and not from some other entity.
-->


3) <!--[rfced] As "OPTIONALLY" is not a key word that appears in RFC 2119,
may this sentence be rephrased to use "OPTIONAL"?

Original:
   For this ACME Authority Token usage of JWT, the payload of the JWT
   OPTIONALLY contain an "iss" indicating the Token Authority that
   generated the token, if the "x5u" or "x5c" element in the header does
   not already convey that information...

Perhaps:
   For this ACME Authority Token usage of JWT, it is OPTIONAL for the
   payload of the JWT to contain an "iss" indicating the Token Authority that
   generated the token if the "x5u" or "x5c" element in the header does
   not already convey that information...
-->

<JFP> OK


4) <!--[rfced] We note that RFC 8226 does not contain mention of "tkvalue".
Please review and let us know if/how this citation should be updated.

Original:
   Following the example of [I-D.ietf-acme-authority-token-tnauthlist],
   the "tktype" identifier type could be the TNAuthList, with a
   "tkvalue" as defined in [RFC8226] that the Token Authority is
   attesting.
-->

<JFP> Good catch. We’re not saying that the “tkvalue” element is defined in RFC8226, but that the value of the “tkvalue” element is a TNAuthList has defiend in RFC8226. So maybe:

The “tktype” identifier type could be the TNAuthList (as defined in [RFC8226]), which would be the value for the “tkvalue” element that the Token Authority is attesting.


5) <!--[rfced] In Section 4, the following lines in sourcecode exceeded
the 69-character limit. Line breaks have been added as follows; please
review and let us know if these lines should appear in a different manner.

Original (lines 407 and 408):
     "atc":{"tktype":"TnAuthList","tkvalue":"F83n2a...avn27DN3==","fingerprint":
     "SHA256 56:3E:CF:AE:83:CA:4D:15:B0:29:FF:1B:71:D3:BA:B9:19:81:F8:50:
     9B:DF:4A:D4:39:72:E2:B1:F0:B9:38:E3"}

Current:
     "atc":{"tktype":"TnAuthList","tkvalue":"F83n2a...avn27DN3==",
     "fingerprint":"SHA256 56:3E:CF:AE:83:CA:4D:15:B0:29:FF:1B:71:D3:
     BA:B9:19:81:F8:50:9B:DF:4A:D4:39:72:E2:B1:F0:B9:38:E3"}


Original (lines 424 and 425):
   "atc":{"tktype":"TnAuthList","tkvalue":"F83n2a...avn27DN3==","ca":true,
   "fingerprint":"SHA256 56:3E:CF:AE:83:CA:4D:15:B0:29:FF:1B:71:D3:BA:B9:19:81:F8:50:
   9B:DF:4A:D4:39:72:E2:B1:F0:B9:38:E3"} }

Current:
   "atc":{"tktype":"TnAuthList","tkvalue":"F83n2a...avn27DN3==",
   "ca":true,"fingerprint":"SHA256 56:3E:CF:AE:83:CA:4D:15:B0:29:FF:1B:
   71:D3:BA:B9:19:81:F8:50:9B:DF:4A:D4:39:72:E2:B1:F0:B9:38:E3"} }
-->

<JFP> OK.


6) <!--[rfced] Please review the "type" attribute of each sourcecode element
in the XML file to ensure correctness. If the current list of preferred
values for "type" (https://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/sourcecode-types.txt)
does not contain an applicable type, then feel free to let us
know. Also, it is acceptable to leave the "type" attribute not set.
-->

<JFP> I’m not aware I’m using sourcecode as an element in the XML. These are all figure/artwork blocks.


7) <!-- [rfced] RFC 7231 has been obsoleted by RFC 9110.  May we replace
RFC 7231 with RFC 9110 in this sentence?

Original:
   In order to request an Authority Token from a Token Authority, a
   client sends a HTTPS POST request [RFC7231] .
-->

<JFP> OK.


8) <!--[rfced] Per RFCs 2119 and 8174, may we update "SHOULD not" to "SHOULD NOT"
in the sentence below?

Original:
   ACME services relying
   on Authority Tokens SHOULD not issue certificates with a longer
   expiry than the expiry of the Authority Token.
-->

<JFP> OK.


9) <!--[rfced] The following references are not cited in the text.  Please let
us know where they should be cited or if these references should be deleted
from the References section.

   [RFC3986]  Berners-Lee, T., Fielding, R., and L. Masinter, "Uniform
              Resource Identifier (URI): Generic Syntax", STD 66,
              RFC 3986, DOI 10.17487/RFC3986, January 2005,
              <https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc3986__;!!N14HnBHF!57eJm6xYZhvvvv3CCsAFzcQ8b3OIuakb08QLJ9xkR4ZfvCOjGflOJJjW2zx4mNN-RY-PWy14m14Ao11d1hY5bSGkYIcdPQ$ >.

   [RFC4648]  Josefsson, S., "The Base16, Base32, and Base64 Data
              Encodings", RFC 4648, DOI 10.17487/RFC4648, October 2006,
              <https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc4648__;!!N14HnBHF!57eJm6xYZhvvvv3CCsAFzcQ8b3OIuakb08QLJ9xkR4ZfvCOjGflOJJjW2zx4mNN-RY-PWy14m14Ao11d1hY5bSH2BxuGBg$ >.
-->

<JFP> Um, I suppose we don’t need those cited.


10) <!--[rfced] Throughout the text, "ACME Identifier Type", "ACME Identifier type",
and "ACME identifier type" appear were used inconsistently. We have updated
all occurrences to capitalized, i.e., "ACME Identifier Type".
Please review and let us know if you prefer otherwise.
-->

<JFP> I only see one instance of that construction where “type” is uncapitalized in the -09 XML source (and none where “identifier” is uncapitalized in that construction), but forcing capitalization is fine.


11) <!-- [rfced] FYI - We have added expansions for the following abbreviations
per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). Please review each expansion
in the document carefully to ensure correctness.

JSON Web Signature (JWS)
Telephone Number Authorization List (TNAuthList)
-->

<JFP> OK.


12) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online
Style Guide <https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/*inclusive_language__;Iw!!N14HnBHF!57eJm6xYZhvvvv3CCsAFzcQ8b3OIuakb08QLJ9xkR4ZfvCOjGflOJJjW2zx4mNN-RY-PWy14m14Ao11d1hY5bSHw1FLyNA$ >
and let us know if any changes are needed.

Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should still
be reviewed as a best practice.
-->

<JFP> OK.


Thank you.

<JFP> Thanks!

RFC Editor/ar/ar


On Jul 24, 2023, [e-mail] wrote:

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--------------------------------------
RFC9447 (draft-ietf-acme-authority-token-09)

Title            : ACME Challenges Using an Authority Token
Author(s)        : J. Peterson, M. Barnes, D. Hancock, C. Wendt
WG Chair(s)      : Deb Cooley, Deb Cooley, Yoav Nir
Area Director(s) : Roman Danyliw, Paul Wouters