Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9343 <draft-ietf-6man-ipv6-alt-mark-17> for your review

[Giuseppe Fioccola <[e-mail]>]

Hi,
Thank you for your review.
I approve this RFC for publication.
Please find my replies inline tagged as [GF].

Best Regards,

Giuseppe

-----Original Message-----
From: [e-mail] <[e-mail]> 
Sent: Monday, December 12, 2022 8:35 PM
To: Giuseppe Fioccola <[e-mail]>; Tianran Zhou <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9343 <draft-ietf-6man-ipv6-alt-mark-17> for your review

Authors,

While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.

1) <!--[rfced] FYI: We updated the short title that spans the header of the PDF to match the document title (since there is adequate room). Also note that we hyphenated "Alternate Marking" in both titles for consistency.

Original:
   IPv6 AMM

Current:
   IPv6 Application of the Alternate-Marking Method
-->

[GF]: Ok, thanks

2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->

[GF]: IPv6, Performance, Measurement, Monitoring, Passive, Hybrid, Loss, Delay, Delay Variation, Multipoint, Cluster, Closed-Loop.


3) <!--[rfced] Does "it" refer to the Option Header? Also, will readers understand where it is "inserted or deleted" (is it along the path or other)? Please clarify.

Original:
   In case of Hop-by-Hop Option Header carrying Alternate Marking
   bits, it is not inserted or deleted, but can be read by any node
   along the path. 

Perhaps:
   In case of a Hop-by-Hop Option Header carrying Alternate-Marking
   bits, the Option Header is not inserted or deleted on the path, 
   but it can be read by any node along the path. 
-->

[GF]: I'm ok with the replacement. I think your proposed text clarifies.

4) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We've updated the following sentence as follows with regard to "only in case it is fully managed" for clarity. Please let us know if this changes the intended meaning.

Original:
   The user equipment can be the starting or ending node, only in case
   it is fully managed and if it belongs to the controlled domain.

Updated:
   The user equipment can be the starting or ending node only when/if 
   it is fully managed and belongs to the controlled domain.
-->

[GF]: The updated sentence is ok.


5) <!-- [rfced] In the following sentence, what is meant by "it is required the hop-by-hop measurement"? Please clarify.

Original:
   In many cases the end-to-end measurement is not enough and it is 
   required the hop-by-hop measurement, so the most complete choice 
   can be the Hop-by-Hop Options Header.

Perhaps:
   In many cases, the end-to-end measurement is not enough, and the
   hop-by-hop measurement is also required, so the most complete 
   choice is the Hop-by-Hop Options Header.
-->

[GF]: To clarify, I propose to rephrase as follows:
   In many cases, the end-to-end measurement may not be enough, and 
   the hop-by-hop measurement is required. To meet this need, the most 
   complete choice is the Hop-by-Hop Options Header.

6) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We have updated the following sentence as follows regarding "drop or assign packets" as it was unclear. Please let us know if this changes the intended meaning.

Original:
   It is worth mentioning that Hop-by-Hop Options are not strongly
   recommended in [RFC7045] and [RFC8200], unless there is a clear justification
   to standardize it, because nodes may be configured to ignore the Options
   Header, drop or assign packets containing an Options Header to a slow
   processing path.

Updated:
   It is worth mentioning that Hop-by-Hop Options are not strongly
   recommended in [RFC7045] and [RFC8200], unless there is a clear justification
   to standardize it, because nodes may be configured to ignore the Options
   Header or drop or assign packets containing an Options Header to a slow
   processing path.
-->

[GF]: Ok

7) <!--[rfced] Since this does not appear to be a direct quote, we rephrased "skip if do not recognize and data do no change en route" to "skip if not recognized and the data does not change en route". Please let us know of any objections.

Original:
   Indeed, the three high-order bits of the Options
   Header defined in this draft are 000 and, in theory, as per [RFC8200]
   and [I-D.ietf-6man-hbh-processing], this means "skip if do not
   recognize and data do not change en route".  

Current:
   Indeed, the three high-order bits of the Options
   Header defined in this draft are 000 and, in theory, as per [RFC8200]
   and [HBH-OPTIONS-PROCESSING], this means "skip if not
   recognized and data does not change en route".  
-->

[GF]: Ok

8) <!--[rfced] Is the intended meaning that counter-based batches are treated the same as timer-based ones (i.e., there are no differences in the rules)? Please clarify.

Original:
   There is no definitive rule for counter-based batches 
   differently from timer-based batches. 

Perhaps:
   There is no definitive rule for counter-based batches; 
   the same rules apply for both counter- and time-based
   batches.
-->

[GF]: In RFC8321bis we stated that only the method based on a fixed timer is specified while the method based on a fixed number of packets is not detailed and is considered out of scope.
For this reason, I propose to revise the sentence as follows:
   Unlike the timer-based batches, there is no definitive rule 
   for counter-based batches, which are not considered in 
   [I-D.ietf-ippm-rfc8321bis].

9) <!-- [rfced] In the following sentence, we updated "and out-of-order of the packets" to "and out-of-order packets". If that changes the intended meaning, please let us know.

Original:
   These can create offsets between the batches and out-of-order 
   of the packets. 

Current:
   These can create offsets between the batches and 
   out-of-order packets.
-->

[GF]: Ok

10) <!-- [rfced] In the following sentence, what is meant by "the available counting interval where to get stable counters"?

Original:
   The assumption is to define the available counting interval where to
   get stable counters and to avoid these issues.
 
Perhaps:
   The assumption is to define the available counting interval to
   get stable counters and to avoid these issues.
-->

[GF]: I think your proposed sentence is ok.


11) <!--[rfced] FYI: We updated one instance of "perform measurements" to "performance measurements" for consistency.  If that is not correct, please let us know.

Original:
   This document aims to apply a method to perform measurements that
   does not directly affect Internet security nor applications that run
   on the Internet.

Current:
   This document aims to apply a method to the performance measurements that
   does not directly affect Internet security nor applications that run
   on the Internet.
-->

[GF]: Ok

12) <!--[rfced] FYI: "draft-chen-pce-pcep-ifit" is expired and has been replaced by "draft-ietf-pce-pcep-ifit"; the reference entry has been updated accordingly.
-->

[GF]: Thanks

13) <!--[rfced] FYI: We changed "precious" to "valuable" to match the wording in RFC-to-be 9432.

Original:
   The authors would like to thank Bob Hinden, Ole Troan, Martin Duke,
   Lars Eggert, Roman Danyliw, Alvaro Retana, Eric Vyncke, Warren
   Kumari, Benjamin Kaduk, Stewart Bryant, Christopher Wood, Yoshifumi
   Nishida, Tom Herbert, Stefano Previdi, Brian Carpenter, Greg Mirsky,
   Ron Bonica for the precious comments and suggestions.

Current:
   The authors would like to thank Bob Hinden, Ole Troan, Martin Duke, 
   Lars Eggert, Roman Danyliw, Alvaro Retana, Eric Vyncke, Warren Kumari, 
   Benjamin Kaduk, Stewart Bryant, C. A. Wood, Yoshifumi Nishida, 
   Tom Herbert, Stefano Previdi, Brian Carpenter, Greg Mirsky, and Ron 
   Bonica for their valuable comments and suggestions.
-->

[GF]: Ok

14) <!-- [rfced] This document uses "AltMark Option" with and without the article "the". For consistency and readability, we included the article. If any further changes are needed, please let us know.

[GF]: Thanks

One example

Original:
   Alternate Marking measurements could be harmed by routers altering
   the fields of the AltMark Option (e.g., marking of the packets, FlowMonID) or
   by a malicious attacker adding AltMark Option to the packets in order to
   consume the resources of network devices and entities involved.

Current:
   Alternate-Marking measurements could be harmed by routers altering
   the fields of the AltMark Option (e.g., marking of the packets or FlowMonID) or
   by a malicious attacker adding the AltMark Option to the packets in order to
   consume the resources of network devices and entities involved.
-->

[GF]: Ok

15) <!-- [rfced] Throughout the text, the following terminology appears to be used inconsistently. Please review these occurrences and let us know if/how they may be made consistent.

"Data Fields" vs. "data fields"
    [For example, "AlMark data fields" vs. "Option Data Fields"]

[GF]: AltMark Data Fields can be made consistent. The other occurrences are ok.

"Destination Options Header" vs. "Destination Options header" vs.
"Destination Option Header" vs. "Destination Options Header"
    [Note: Option vs. Options and Header vs. header]

[GF]: We can make it consistent and use only "Destination Options Header"

"Extension Header Option" vs. "Options Extension Headers"
    [Note: are these terms different or the same?

[GF]: We can use only the term "Extension Header Option"

"Hop-by-Hop Options Header" vs. "Hop-by-Hop Options header" vs. 
"Hop-by-Hop Option Header"
     [Note: Option vs. Options and Header vs. header]

[GF]: We can make it consistent and use only "Hop-by-Hop Options Header"

"Option Header" vs. "Options Header" vs. "Options header"

[GF]: We can use only " Options Header"

FYI: We made the following terms lowercase for consistency. 
Please let us know of any concerns.

 data collection
 calculation
 IPv6 header
 network graph
 use case

[GF]: Ok

FYI: The case of these terms was updated to match use in the other C466 documents:

 Alternate-Marking Method
 Alternate-Marking methodology
 Alternate Marking (no hyphen when not followed by a noun)  Single Marking  Double Marking  cluster

[GF]: Ok
-->


16) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online Style Guide <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
and let us know if any changes are needed.  

In addition, please consider whether "traditional" should be updated for clarity.  While the NIST website <https://www.nist.gov/nist-research-library/nist-technical-series-publications-author-instructions#table1>
indicates that this term is potentially biased, it is also ambiguous.
"Traditional" is a subjective term, as it is not the same for everyone.

[GF]: We can replace traditional with conventional

-->


Thank you.

RFC Editor/re/kc



On Dec 12, 2022, at 11:33 AM, [e-mail] wrote:

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Updated 2022/12/12

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--------------------------------------
RFC9343 (draft-ietf-6man-ipv6-alt-mark-17)

Title            : IPv6 Application of the Alternate Marking Method
Author(s)        : G. Fioccola, T. Zhou, M. Cociglio, F. Qin, R. Pang
WG Chair(s)      : Bob Hinden, Ole Trøan, Jen Linkova

Area Director(s) : Erik Kline, Éric Vyncke