Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9527 <draft-ietf-homenet-naming-architecture-dhc-options-24> for your review

[[e-mail]]

Authors,

While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.

1) <!--[rfced] Should "Home Network" be updated to "Homenet" in the
document title to more closely match the terminology used in the
Abstract and Introduction? Please let us know your preference.

Original:
   DHCPv6 Options for Home Network Naming Authority

Perhaps:
   DHCPv6 Options for the Homenet Naming Authority
-->


2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in
the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->


3) <!--[rfced] Please clarify "proceed to the configuration". Is the intended
meaning that the HNA can proceed to "use", "set", or "identify" the
appropriate configuration?

Original:
   This document defines DHCPv6 options so a Homenet Naming Authority
   (HNA) can automatically proceed to the appropriate configuration and
   outsource the authoritative naming service for the home network.

Perhaps:
   This document defines DHCPv6 options so that a Homenet Naming Authority
   (HNA) can automatically use the appropriate configuration and
   outsource the authoritative naming service for the home network.
-->


4) <!--[rfced] Is "necessary information on the DM and RDM" referring to
the Registered Homenet Domain (option A) or what the ISP
provides (option B)? Please clarify.

Original:
   More specifically,
   the ISP provides the Registered Homenet Domain, necessary information
   on the DM and the RDM so the HNA can manage and upload the Public
   Homenet Zone and the Reverse Public Homenet Zone as described in
   [I-D.ietf-homenet-front-end-naming-delegation].

Perhaps:
A) More specifically,
   the ISP provides the Registered Homenet Domain, which includes necessary
   information on the DM and the RDM, so the HNA can manage and upload the 
   Public Homenet Zone and the Reverse Public Homenet Zone as described in
   [RFC9526].
or 

B) More specifically,
   the ISP provides the Registered Homenet Domain and the necessary 
   information on the DM and the RDM so the HNA can manage and upload 
   the Public Homenet Zone and the Reverse Public Homenet Zone as 
   described in [RFC9526].
-->


5) <!--[rfced] FYI: we moved the Terminology section after the
Introduction per Section 4 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide").
-->


6) <!--[rfced] Regarding "DNS over mutually authenticated
TLS [RFC7858]". Is citing RFC 7858 accurate here? We see RFC 7858
is about DNS over TLS, without the words "mutually authenticated" 
or "mutual authentication" appearing within the document.

Original:
   The bit for DNS over mutually authenticated TLS [RFC7858] 
   MUST be set.
-->


7) <!--[rfced] We notice that Table 1 (Section 4.4) and Table 3 (Section
6.2) are exactly the same. We suggest Table 1 be removed and the text
be updated to point to Table 3 as shown below; is this acceptable?

(Section 4.4)
Original:
   The Supported Transport field of the DHCPv6 option indicates the
   supported transport protocols.  Each bit represents a specific
   transport mechanism.  A bit sets to 1 indicates the associated
   transport protocol is supported.  The corresponding bits are 
   assigned as described in Figure 4 and Section 6.

Perhaps:
   The Supported Transport field of the DHCPv6 option indicates the
   Supported Transport protocols.  Each bit represents a specific
   transport mechanism.  A bit set to 1 indicates the associated
   transport protocol is supported.  The corresponding bits are 
   assigned as described in Table 3.
-->


8) <!--[rfced] RFC 8415 does not contain Section 17.2.2. Is Section 17.2
("Source Address and Interface Selection for Prefix Delegation")
the correct section? Please confirm.

Current:
   Sections 17.2.2 and 18.2 of [RFC8415] govern server operation
   regarding option assignment. 
-->


9) <!--[rfced] We do not see mention of "Option Request Option" or "ORO"
in Section 18.2.5 of RFC 8415. Is the reference correct or is an
update needed to the text?

Current:
   The DHCPv6 client includes the Registered Homenet Domain Option,
   Distribution Manager Option, and Reverse Distribution Manager Option
   in an ORO as specified in Sections 18.2.1, 18.2.2, 18.2.4, 18.2.5,
   18.2.6, and 21.7 of [RFC8415].
-->


10) <!--[rfced] Please clarify "once-for-ever". Could this be rephrased as follows 
for clarity?

Original:
   Again, this configuration update is done once-for-ever.

Perhaps:
   Again, this configuration update only needs to be performed one time.
-->	  


11) <!-- [rfced] Terminology

a) Throughout the text, the following terminology appears to be used 
inconsistently. Please review these occurrences and let us know if/how they
may be made consistent.  

   DHCPv6 option vs. DHCP Option

   Zero Configuration vs. zero-config
      [Are these terms the same or different? If "Zero Configuration" 
      is used, should it be lowercase?]

b) We updated the text to reflect the latter terms below for consistency 
(and the number of instances is in parentheses for reference). Please 
let us know if any further updates are needed.

   Base Scenario -> base scenario (1)
   DHCPv6 Option -> DHCPv6 option (2)
   Forward Distributed Manager Option -> Forward Distribution Manager Option (1)
   Homenet Registered Domain -> Registered Homenet Domain (2)
   Information -> information (1)
   supported transport -> Supported Transport (4) (per RFC-to-be 9526)
-->


12) <!--[rfced] Abbreviations

a) We have added expansions for the following abbreviations
per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). Please review each
expansion in the document carefully to ensure correctness.

   fully qualified domain name (FQDN) (per RFC-to-be 9526)

b) The expansion for "CPE" in this document (i.e., "Customer Edge (CPE)") 
does not match the expansion in RFC 7368 and RFC-to-be 9526 (i.e., 
"Customer Premises Equipment (CPE)"). Please let us know which form is 
preferred. Note that the acronym for "Customer Edge" is "(CE)".

  Customer Edge (CPE) vs. Customer Premises Equipment (CPE) 
-->


13) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online 
Style Guide <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> 
and let us know if any changes are needed.  

Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should 
still be reviewed as a best practice.
-->


Thank you.

RFC Editor/kc/ar


On Dec 18, 2023, [e-mail] wrote:

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Updated 2023/12/18

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--------------------------------------
RFC9527 (draft-ietf-homenet-naming-architecture-dhc-options-24)

Title            : DHCPv6 Options for Home Network Naming Authority
Author(s)        : D. Migault, R. Weber, T. Mrugalski
WG Chair(s)      : Kiran Makhijani, Stephen Farrell
Area Director(s) : Erik Kline, Éric Vyncke