[auth48] Fwd: Fwd: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9435 <draft-ietf-tsvwg-dscp-considerations-13> for your review - Reponses to comments

[Gorry Fairhurst <[e-mail]>]

Thank you we have now reviewed your changes, we were quite impressed at 
the level of attention to detail.

Please see our comments and replies marked "GF", and some additional 
requests at the end.

We plan to complete a full review and approve this, once these changes 
have been implemented.

Best wishes,
Gorry

====

Authors,

While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as 
necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.

1) <!-- [rfced] FYI, the title of the document has been updated as follows.

Original: Considerations for Assigning a new Recommended DiffServ Codepoint
(DSCP)

Current: Considerations for Assigning a New Recommended Differentiated
Services Code Point (DSCP)
-->

GF: Works for me.

2) <!-- [rfced] FYI: Repeated references

a) Since "[RFC2474]" was cited twice in this sentence, and no other
citation was present, we placed it at the end of the sentence.

Original:
It provides differentiated traffic forwarding
based on the DiffServ Code Point (DSCP) [RFC2474] carried in the
DiffServ field [RFC2474] of the IP packet header.

Current:
It provides differentiated traffic forwarding
based on the DSCP carried in the Diffserv field of the IP packet header 
[RFC2474].

GF: Works for me.

b) Similarly, since "[RFC4594]" was cited twice in this sentence, we 
placed this reference at the end of the sentence.

Original:
DiffServ associates traffic with a service class [RFC4594] and
categorises it into Behavior Aggregates [RFC4594].
Suggested:
Diffserv associates traffic with a service class and
categorizes it into Behavior Aggregates [RFC4594]. -->

GF: Works for me.

3) <!-- [rfced] FYI, we have updated this text to:
- cite RFC 2474 because it's the source of the quote, and
- change "standards" to "standardized" to match the source, and
- include the phrase "if Pool 1 is ever exhausted" because it's in the 
source.
Please let us know if you prefer otherwise.

Original:
This was initially available for experimental (EXP) or Local Use
(LU), but was originally specified to be "preferentially utilized
for standards assignments" if Pool 1 is ever exhausted.
Current:
This was initially available for Experimental (EXP) Use or Local Use
(LU), but was originally specified to be "preferentially utilized
for standardized assignments if Pool 1 is ever exhausted" [RFC2474]. -->

GF: Works for me.

4) <!-- [rfced] Please note that the quoted text does not appear in RFC 
8436. Please review and let us know how this may be updated.
Perhaps you intended the "NEW" text in Section 3 of RFC 8436
(https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc8436#section-3)?

Original:
Pool 3
codepoints are now "utilized for standards assignments and are no
longer available for assignment to experimental or local use"
[RFC8436].
Perhaps:
Pool 3
codepoints are now "utilized for standardized assignments (replacing
the previous availability for experimental or local use)" [RFC8436]. -->

GF: Works for me.

5) <!-- [rfced] Regarding Table 2 references:

a) Neither "Best Effort" nor "CS0" is mentioned in RFC 2474. How should 
the second row be updated?

GF: Correct - but Class Selector mapping is - this is confusing. A 
sentence or two here would be better to explain these rather complicated 
equivalent words.

OLD:

*BE (Best Effort),*  also known as*"CS0",*  describes the default forwarding treatment.

NEW:
The Default PHB is defined in section 4.1 of [RFC2474]. This provides 
Best Effort (BE) forwarding, and the recommended DSCP of *'000000' 
*(section 4.2.2.1  of [RFC2474]). This
is the lowest value in the set of Class Selector (CS) DSCPs, and hence 
is also known as "CS0" 
[https://www.iana.org/assignments/dscp-registry/dscp-registry.xhtml].

GF: I realise this may also move the definition of CS earlier, please 
check and correct.

b) "Voice Admit" nor "VA" appears in RFC 5865.
How should it be updated?

GF: RFC 5865 uses "VOICE-ADMIT" as the name
GF: It seems industry uses VA as an abbreivation, I'd like to propose we 
keep this (see also below on a caption change).

Perhaps it refers to Call Admission Control?
GF: No: This is not the same thing.

Current:
+ - + - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - +
| CS | Class Selector | [RFC2474] |
+ - + - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - +
| BE | Best Effort (CS0) | [RFC2474] |
+ - + - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - +
| AF | Assured Forwarding | [RFC2597] |
+ - + - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - +
| EF | Expedited Forwarding | [RFC3246] |
+ - + - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - +
| VA | Voice Admit | [RFC5865] |
+ - + - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - +
| LE | Lower Effort | [RFC8622] |
+ - + - - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - + -->

GF: There is no reason to say "Used in Published RFCs", although that 
was the goal, so I suggest:

OLD:
Table 2: Summary of the DSCP Abbreviations Used in Published RFCs

NEW:

Table 2: Abbreviations for DSCPs and PHB Groups



6) <!--[rfced] Regarding use of ampersand in Section 4.2.1, may it be 
replaced with "and" or is the symbol preferred?

Original:
... result in the DSCP being re-marked to 'x' & 0x07 and then forwarded 
using the PHB specified...

Perhaps:
... result in the DSCP being re-marked to 'x' and 0x07 and then 
forwarded using the PHB specified...
-->
GF: I'd prefer to NOT change. The ampersand here represents a "bit-wise 
and". If this does need to be
clarified please propose something.

7) <!-- [rfced] What do "Section 5.1.2" and "Section 4.1" refer to -
sections within RFC 8325, IEEE 802.11 UP, or this RFC?
Original:
RFC8325 [RFC8325] notes inconsistencies that can result from such re-
marking, and recommends a different mapping to perform this re-
marking, dependent on the direction in which a packet is forwarded.
It provides recommendations for mapping a DSCP to an IEEE 802.11 UP
for interconnection between wired and wireless networks. The
recommendation in Section 5.1.2 maps network control traffic, CS6 and
CS7, as well as unassigned DSCPs, to UP 0 when forwarding in the
upstream direction (wireless-to-wired). It also recommends mapping
CS6 and CS7 traffic to UP 7, when forwarding in the downstream
direction (Section 4.1).

Perhaps as follows?
- Section 5.1.2 of this document ("Mapping Specified for IEEE 802.11")
- Section 4.1 of RFC 8325 ("Network Control Traffic")
-->

GF: This works for me.

8) <!--[rfced] Regarding Table 5, should the header be updated
as follows or otherwise? The term "Aggregate Class" does not appear in 
RFC 8100. Should it be defined within this document?

Original:
| RFC8100 | DSCP | | Agg. Class | |
Perhaps:
| Treatment Aggregate [RFC8100] | DSCP |

GF: This works for me.

Similarly, regarding Table 6, should the header be updated as follows or 
otherwise? We note that GSMA IR.34 lists the four "UMTS QoS classes" in 
Section 6.2.1. The term "Aggregate Class" does not appear in IR.34.

Original:
| GSMA IR.34 | PHB | | Agg. Class | |
Perhaps:
| QoS Class in [GSMA-IR.34] | PHB |
-->

GF: This works for me.

9) <!-- [rfced] To more clearly indicate the forwarding direction, may 
we update
the hyphens to "to" in the following?

Original:
A provider service path may consist of sections where multiple and
changing layers use their own code points to determine differentiated
forwarding (e.g., IP - MPLS - IP - Ethernet - Wi-Fi).

Suggested:
A provider service path may consist of sections where multiple and
changing layers use their own code points to determine differentiated
forwarding (e.g., IP to MPLS to IP to Ethernet to Wi-Fi).
-->

GF: This seems good.

10) <!--[rfced] Will the use of ampersand in the title of Section 6.2.1 
be clear to readers? Would it be more clear to write the meaning in prose?

Original:
6.2. Where the proposed DSCP > 0x07 (7)
6.2.1. Where the proposed DSCP&0x07=0x01
6.3. Where the proposed DSCP <= 0x07 (7)
-->

GF: I'm unsure I want to changge.
GF: I do suggest we add one sentence after each subsection heading 
clarify this:

6.2. Where the proposed DSCP > 0x07 (7)
ADD NEW:
This considers a proposed DSCP with a codepoint larger than 7.

6.2.1. Where the proposed DSCP&0x07=0x01
ADD NEW:
This considers a proposed DSCP where the least significant 3 bits have a 
value of 1.

6.3. Where the proposed DSCP <= 0x07 (7)
ADD NEW:
This considers a proposed DSCP where the DSCP is less than or equal to 7.


11) <!-- [rfced] Table Headers

a) In Tables 1, 3, and 4, there's an identical line (Tables 1 and 3, last
row; Table 4, top row). Should this row be in a consistent location
of each table (e.g., the top row)?

Identical row:
+ - - - + - - + - + - + - + - + - + - +
| 0/CS0 | 1/LE | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
+ - - - + - - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

GF: No: This seems a nice idea, but the row ordering is significant, and 
this corresponds
to the lowest set of numerical values and belongs at the bottom of 
tables 1,3.

b) For Tables 2, 5, and 6, please consider whether any labels should be
added to the columns or rows so that it's clearer to the reader what the 
table contains.
-->
GF: Please include 3 in this list, it's the same format
For Tables 2,3,5

We could add a title row above the bit pattern with the bit number 
within the DS field:

ADD NEW:
+-+-+-+-+-+-+
|7|6|5|4|3|2|1|0|
+-+-+-+-+-+-+
| ...
+-+-+-+-+-+-+

GF: In addition, I think it would be clearer if the legend explained in 
each case that this was the D

OLD:
Figure 2: Bleaching of the ToS Precedence
NEW:
Figure 2: Bits in the Diffserv field modified by bleaching of the ToS 
Precedence

OLD:
Figure 3: ToS Precedence Re-marking
NEW:
Figure 3: Bits in the Diffserv field modified by ToS Precedence Re-marking

OLD:
Figure 5: Observed Re-marking Behavior Resulting from Deriving from 
UP-to-DSCP Mapping in Some 802.11 Networks
NEW:
Figure 5: Bits in the Diffserv field modified by Re-marking Observed as 
a Result of UP-to-DSCP Mapping in Some 802.11 Networks

12) <!-- [rfced] Terminology

a) Throughout the text, the following terminology appears to be used 
inconsistently. May we update to the version on the right?

ToS Precedence bleaching vs. ToS Precedence Bleaching
ToS precedence field vs. ToS Precedence field

GF: Please do update as you suggest.

b) We see that "Traffic Class" and "traffic class" along with the 
acronym "TC"
are used throughout the document. Would you like to expand the first 
instance
of these and then use the acronyms in the remainder of the document? Or do
you prefer the current usage?

GF: Ah, good question. These are various things with the same name, and 
I think these are mostly correct:

GF: No CHANGE: The term "traffic class", in section 5 is ok
GF: No CHANGE: The term "traffic class", lower case, in section 5.1 is 
not related to MPLS and should remain in lower case.
GF: No CHANGE: The term "traffic class", lower case, in section 5.2 does 
relate to MPLS.

GF: No CHANGE: The term "traffic class", lower case, in section 5.3 is 
not related to MPLS and should remain in lower case.


GF: PLEASE DO UPDATE: The term "traffic class", in section 6.2.1 could 
potentially be confused, and would be better as "PHB":
OLD:
demoting the traffic to the Lower Effort traffic class.
NEW:
demoting the traffic to the Lower Effort PHB.

c) To avoid confusion with "Access Classes (AC)", may we make "Access 
Categories" lowercase?

Original:
Then, in turn, this is mapped
to the four Wi-Fi Multimedia (WMM) Access Categories.
Perhaps:
Then, in turn, this is mapped
to the four Wi-Fi Multimedia (WMM) access categories.

GF: Good note, please go ahead and do this.

d) FYI, we have added expansions for abbreviations upon first use. 
Please review each expansion in the document carefully to ensure 
correctness.

DSCP - Differentiated Services Code Point
EF - Expedited Forwarding
EXP - updated "experimental" to "Experimental" per RFC 8126
IPX - IP Packet eXchange
LSR - updated "Label-Switched Router" to "Label Switching Router" per 
published RFCs
LU - updated "local use" to "Local Use" per RFC 8126
MAC - Media Access Control
MEF - updated "Metro Ethernet Forum" to "MEF Forum"
PDB - updated "Per Domain Behavior" to "Per-Domain Behavior" like 
"Per-Hop" in PHB
P-GW - updated "Packet Gateway" to "Packet Data Network Gateway"
UMTS - Universal Mobile Telecommunications System
-->

GF: These changes are all good.

13) <!-- [rfced] Please review whether any of the notes in this document
should be in the <aside> element. It is defined as "a container for 
content that is semantically less important or tangential to the content 
that surrounds it" (https://authors.ietf.org/rfcxml-vocabulary#aside).
-->

GF: I am not aware of any content of this type.

14) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the 
online Style Guide 
<https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
and let us know if any changes are needed.

Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this 
should still be reviewed as a best practice.
-->

GF: We plan to review the entire text bvefore we approve and we will 
review this at this next stage

Thank you.

RFC Editor/st/ar

GF: We have some very late cross-area INT review comments that it was 
suggested we incorporate at this stage:

1. An updated citation for [IEEE.802.11] is:

IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Information technology -
Telecommunications and information exchange between
systems - Local and metropolitan area networks - Specific
requirements - Part 11: Wireless LAN Medium Access Control
(MAC) and Physical Layer (PHY) Specifications",
IEEE 802.11, DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2016.7786995, December
2016, https://standards.ieee.org/ieee/8802-11/10034/802.11/5536/.

2. s/exchange point/diffserv domain boundary/ in Section 4
OLD:
and agreements between providers at an exchange point
NEW:
and agreements between providers at a diffserv domain boundary

  3. Please remove the following sentence: This aligned with the now 
deprecated use of
CS1 as the codepoint for the lower effort service, as previously 
specified in [RFC4594].
DELETE:
This aligned with the now deprecated use of CS1 as the codepoint for the 
Lower Effort service, as previously specified in [RFC4594].

4. Explain "unknown" using our agreed text:
OLD:
The treatment of packets that are marked with an unknown or an 
unexpected DSCP at Diffserv domain boundaries is determined by the 
policy for a Diffserv domain
NEW:
A packet that arrives with a DSCP that is not associated with a PHB, 
results in an “unknown DSCP”. A node could receive a packet with an 
"Unexpected DSCP" due to misconfiguration, or because there is no 
consistent policy in place. The treatment of packets that are marked 
with an unknown or an unexpected DSCP at Diffserv domain boundaries is 
determined by the policy for a Diffserv domain.

===

Thanks!

On Jul 3, 2023, [e-mail] wrote:

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Updated 2023/07/03

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--------------------------------------
RFC9435 (draft-ietf-tsvwg-dscp-considerations-13)

Title : Considerations for Assigning a New Recommended Differentiated 
Services Codepoint (DSCP)
Author(s) : A. Custura, G. Fairhurst, R. Secchi
WG Chair(s) : Gorry Fairhurst, Marten Seemann
Area Director(s) : Martin Duke, Zaheduzzaman Sarker

===