Re: [AVTCORE] WG last call on Monitoring Architecture for RTP(draft-ietf-avtcore-monarch-11)

I have read this draft and think it is in good shape.
I have the following editorial recommendations.

1) Section 1, reads as follows:
   However the proliferation of RTP/RTCP specific metrics for transport
   and application quality monitoring has been identified as a potential
   problem for RTP/RTCP interoperability, which attempt to provide full
   coverage of all those parameters of concern to a specific
   application.
I suggest rewording this as follows:
   The proliferation of RTP/RTCP specific metrics for transport
   and application quality monitoring has been identified as a potential
   problem for interoperability when using RTP/RTCP to communicate all 
   the parameters of concern to a specific application.

2) Section 2, Application level metric definition
r/the service level and is/the service level and are

3) Section 2, Direct metrics definition
r/other metric/other metrics

4) Section 2, Composed metrics definition, reads as follows:
      Metrics that are not directly measured and derived from other
      metrics.  One example of such metrics is the ones calculated based
      on Direct metric that have been measured.
I suggest rewording as follows:
      Metrics that are not measured directly but rather are derived from one or 
      more other metrics. An example is a metric calculated based on derived metrics
      that have been measured.

5) Section 2, Sampled metrics definition
r/measured or calculated that/measure or calculated metric that

6) Section 3, last word
r/mechanism/mechanisms

7) Section 3.1
r/RTP is used/RTP may be used,
Also, expand ASM and SSM.

8) Section 4, first bullet
r/Design compound/Designing compound

9) Section 4, second bullet, reads as follows:
   o  Correlating RTCP XR with the non-RTP data.  Canonical End-Point
      Identifier SDES Item (CNAME) defined in the RTP Protocol [RFC3550]
      is an example of existing tool that allows to bind an
      Synchronization source (SSRC) that may change to a fixed source
      name in one RTP session.  It may be also fixed across multiple RTP
      sessions from the same source.
I suggest rewording as follows:
   o  Correlating RTCP XR with the non-RTP data.  Canonical End-Point
      Identifier SDES Item (CNAME), defined in the RTP Protocol [RFC3550],
      is an example of an existing tool that allows binding a
      Synchronization source (SSRC) that may change to a name that is
      fixed within one RTP session.  CNAME may be also fixed across multiple RTP
      sessions from the same source.
Also
r/should be concerned/should be provided

10) Section 4, third bullet
r/"metric interval. In such case"/"metric intervals. In such cases"

11) Section 5.1, second paragraph
r/this memo proposes the use of single metrics block each containing/this memo recommends the definition of metrics blocks containing

12) Section 5.2,
r/There may be situation/There may be situations
r/one media transport protocols are used/one media transport protocol is used
r/"in a VOIP session one"/"in a VOIP session. One"

13) Section 5.3,
r/even if though/even though

Cheers,
Charles

> -----Original Message-----
> From: avt-bounces@ietf.org [mailto:avt-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of
> Magnus Westerlund
> Sent: Sunday, March 04, 2012 11:45 PM
> To: IETF AVTCore WG
> Subject: [AVTCORE] WG last call on Monitoring Architecture for
> RTP(draft-ietf-avtcore-monarch-11)
> 
> WG,
> 
> This initiates the Working group last call on Monitoring Architecture
> for RTP (draft-ietf-avtcore-monarch-11) to be published as
> Informational
> RFC. The WG last call will run for three weeks and end Monday the 26th.
> 
> The draft can be retrieved from here:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-avtcore-monarch/
> 
> Please provide feedback if you have read it, even if you have no
> comments or think it is good enough, this is important information in
> judging the support and readiness for publication.
> 
> Thanks
> 
> Magnus Westerlund
> 
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Multimedia Technologies, Ericsson Research EAB/TVM
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