Re: [bmwg] draft-ietf-bmwg-evpntest Editing

[Sudhin Jacob <[e-mail]>]

Hi Al,

Let me take the opportunity to thank you for the help. I was struggling with XML to txt converted where spacing was taking in to account. Let me go through it and I will get back.

Regards,
Sudhin




Juniper Business Use Only
From: MORTON, ALFRED C (AL) <[e-mail]>
Sent: Monday, June 29, 2020 1:06 AM
To: [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Cc: Warren Kumari <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]
Subject: draft-ietf-bmwg-evpntest Editing

[External Email. Be cautious of content]


Hi Sudhin,



At the last BMWG meeting, Warren sent your draft [0] back to the working group for proof reading.



There are a couple of ways we can proceed.



I suggest that generous WG participants spend a little time with individual sections, so that we can share the load. I have tackled Sections 1 and 2 below.



Also, there are some on-line tools that can help you, while you are waiting for other reviewers.



Scribens:  https://www.scribens.com/mobile.html<https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.scribens.com/mobile.html__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!RJJuMJVWwcwdSOzKOOHp7gKL_62fx1r0qRBgdx9Fsuw2KMve87Kt1Bp-zyqGDYA$>

This works better if your text does not have line breaks before a sentence ends (like the text version of our Internet Drafts). Red and yellow suggestions are more important.



Paperrater: https://www.paperrater.com/proofreader/proof_results?ticket=459bfb354122245ccaff79c5f<https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.paperrater.com/proofreader/proof_results?ticket=459bfb354122245ccaff79c5f__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!RJJuMJVWwcwdSOzKOOHp7gKL_62fx1r0qRBgdx9Fsuw2KMve87Kt1Bp-I5eeWmQ$>

This one provided more general help than actual suggestions, and it failed to highlight some suggestions on my screen after pasting the file in a window for analysis.



https://virtualwritingtutor.com/<https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/virtualwritingtutor.com/__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!RJJuMJVWwcwdSOzKOOHp7gKL_62fx1r0qRBgdx9Fsuw2KMve87Kt1Bp-lZeBWMo$>

I didn't find this output complete or very helpful.



That's it, Try to extend what I've suggested to other parts of your draft, and hope for more BMWG'ers to help-out with a section or two.



Al

(as a participant)



[0] https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bmwg-evpntest-05



Intro: As several of have pointed-out, there are no spaces after the end of many sentences. It seems that your editing tool is hiding these from you - you need to look at the text output on the IETF site and you will find them easily.



OLD

used to benchmark both RFC 7432 and RFC 7623 solutions.Further,

NEW

used to benchmark both RFC 7432 and RFC 7623 solutions. Further,





OLD

EVPN data and control planes, MAC learning, MAC flushing, MAC aging,
convergence, high availability, and scale.

NEW

EVPN data and control planes, including MAC learning, MAC flushing, MAC aging,
convergence, high availability, and scale.





Section 1.2: Many of these terms have been defined already, in the RFCs you cited? Please mention this and add the general references here again.



OLD

MHPE2: Multi homed Provider Edge router 2.
MHPE1: Multi homed Provider Edge router 1.

SHPE3: Single homed Provider Edge Router 3.

NEW

MHPE2: Multi-homed Provider Edge router 2.
MHPE1: Multi-homed Provider Edge router 1.

SHPE3: Single-homed Provider Edge Router 3.



OLD

Sub Interface: Each physical Interfaces is subdivided into Logical
units.

NEW

Sub-Interfaces: Each physical interface is subdivided into a set of logical
units, called Sub-Interfaces.



OLD

Single-Active Redundancy Mode: When only a single PE, among all the
PEs attached to an Ethernet segment, is allowed to forward traffic
to/from that Ethernet segment for a given VLAN, then the Ethernet
segment is defined to be operating in Single-Active redundancy mode.

NEW

Single-Active Redundancy Mode: When a single PE (among all the
PEs attached to an Ethernet segment) is the only PE allowed to forward traffic
to/from a given Ethernet segment for a given VLAN, then that Ethernet
segment is defined to be operating in Single-Active redundancy mode.



2. Test Topology

OLD
There are five routers in the Test setup.SHPE3, RR/P, MHPE1 and
MHPE2 emulating a service provider network.CE is a customer device
connected to MHPE1 and MHPE2, it is configured with bridge domains in
multiple vlans. The traffic generator is connected to CE and
SHPE3.The MHPE1 acts as DUT.The traffic generator will be used as
sender and receiver of traffic.The DUT will be the reference point
for all the test cases. MHPE1 and MHPE2 are mulihome routers
connected to CE running single active mode.The traffic generator
will be generating traffic at 10% of the line rate.

NEW
There are five routers in the Test setup.SHPE3, RR/P, MHPE1 and
MHPE2 emulating a service provider network. CE is a customer device
connected to MHPE1 and MHPE2; it is configured with bridge domains in
multiple VLANS. The traffic generator is connected to the CE and
SHPE3. The MHPE1 acts as DUT. The traffic generator will be used as
sender and receiver of traffic. The DUT will be the reference point
for all the test cases. MHPE1 and MHPE2 are muli-homed routers
connected to CE running single active mode. The traffic generator
will be generating traffic at 10% of the line rate.



Also: The DUT will be the reference point for all the test cases.

What does this mean?



Figure 2:

OLD

| | Local& Remote | | | |multiple MAC& vlans |

NEW

| | Local& Remote | | | |multiple MAC & VLANs |



Figure 2 Caption:

OLD
Table showing the traffic directions of various EVPN/PBB-EVPN
benchmarking test cases. Depends on the test scenario the traffic
can be uni/bi directional generated by the traffic generator.

NEW
Table showing the traffic directions of various EVPN/PBB-EVPN
benchmarking test cases. Depending on the test scenario, the traffic
can be uni-directional or bi-directional (configured in the traffic generator).



OLD

SHPE3 is configured with Interior Gateway protocols like OPSF or IS-
IS for underlay, LDP for MPLS support,Interior Border Gateway with
EVPN address family for overlay support.This router must be
configured with N EVPN/PBB-EVPN instances for testing.Traffic
generator is connected to this router for sending and receiving
traffic.

NEW

The SHPE3 is configured with Interior Gateway protocols like OPSF or IS-
IS for underlay, LDP for MPLS support, and Interior Border Gateway with
EVPN address family for overlay support. This router must be
configured with N EVPN/PBB-EVPN instances for testing. The traffic
generator is connected to the SHPE3 router for sending and receiving
traffic.



OLD

RR is configured with Interior Gateway protocols like OPSF or IS-IS
for underlay, LDP for MPLS support,Interior Border Gateway with EVPN
address family for overlay support.This router acts as a provider
router and as a route reflector.

NEW

The Route Reflector (RR) is configured with Interior Gateway protocols like OPSF or IS-IS
for underlay, LDP for MPLS support, Interior Border Gateway with EVPN
address family for overlay support. The RR router acts as both a provider
router and as a RR.



OLD

MHPE1 is configured with Interior Gateway protocols like OPSF or IS-
IS for underlay, LDP for MPLS support,Interior Border Gateway with
EVPN address family for overlay support.This router must be
configured with N EVPN/PBB-EVPN instances for testing.This router
is configured with ESI per vlan or ESI per interface.It is
functioning as multi homing PE working on Single Active EVPN
mode.This router serves as the DUT and it is connected to CE.MHPE1
is acting as DUT for all the test cases.

NEW

The MHPE1 is configured with Interior Gateway protocols like OPSF or IS-
IS for underlay, LDP for MPLS support, Interior Border Gateway with
EVPN address family for overlay support. This router must be
configured with N EVPN/PBB-EVPN instances for testing. The MHPE1 router
is configured with ESI per VLAN or ESI per interface. MHPE1 is
functioning as a Multi-Homed PE working on Single Active EVPN
mode. This router serves as the DUT and it is connected to CE. The MHPE1
is acting as DUT for all the test cases.



OLD

MHPE2 is configured with Interior Gateway protocols like OPSF or IS-
IS for underlay, LDP for MPLS support,Interior Border Gateway with
EVPN address family for overlay support.This router must be
configured with N EVPN/PBB-EVPN instances for testing.This router
is configured with ESI per vlan or ESI per interface.It is
functioning as multi homing PE working on Single Active EVPN mode.
It is connected to CE.

NEW

The MHPE2 is configured with Interior Gateway protocols like OPSF or IS-
IS for underlay, LDP for MPLS support, Interior Border Gateway with
EVPN address family for overlay support. The MHPE2 router must be
configured with N EVPN/PBB-EVPN instances for testing. This router
is configured with ESI per VLAN or ESI per interface. MHPE2 is
functioning as Multi-Homed PE working on Single Active EVPN mode.
MHPE2 is connected to the CE.



OLD

CE is acting as bridge configured with multiple vlans,the same vlans
are configured on MHPE1,MHPE2,SHPE3.Traffic generator is connected
to CE. the traffic generator acts as sender or receiver of traffic.

NEW

CE is acting as bridge configured with multiple VLANS. The same VLANS
are configured on MHPE1, MHPE2, and SHPE3. The Traffic generator is connected
to the CE. The traffic generator acts as sender and/or receiver of traffic.



OLD

Depending up on the test scenarios the traffic generators will be
used to generate uni directional or bi directional flows.

The above configuration will be serving as the base configuration for
all test cases.



NEW

Depending upon the test scenario chosen the traffic generator will be
used to generate uni-directional or bi-directional flows.

The above equipment setup and configuration will serve as the basis for
all test cases.



That's it, I'm done.