Re: [CCAMP] Éric Vyncke's No Objection on draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-25: (with COMMENT)

Zhenghaomian <zhenghaomian@huawei.com> Wed, 21 February 2024 08:33 UTC

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From: Zhenghaomian <zhenghaomian@huawei.com>
To: Éric Vyncke <evyncke@cisco.com>, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
CC: "draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang@ietf.org>, "ccamp-chairs@ietf.org" <ccamp-chairs@ietf.org>, "ccamp@ietf.org" <ccamp@ietf.org>, "luismiguel.contrerasmurillo@telefonica.com" <luismiguel.contrerasmurillo@telefonica.com>, "antoine@aft.network" <antoine@aft.network>
Thread-Topic: Éric Vyncke's No Objection on draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-25: (with COMMENT)
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Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2024 08:33:04 +0000
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Subject: Re: [CCAMP] Éric Vyncke's No Objection on draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-25: (with COMMENT)
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Hi Eric, 

Thank you for the review and comments. Please find the replies inline. 
If you are fine with the resolutions, we will update the document after the IANA processing is done. 

Best wishes,
Haomian(on behalf of authors & contributors)

-----Original Message-----
From: Éric Vyncke via Datatracker [mailto:noreply@ietf.org] 
Sent: Tuesday, February 20, 2024 8:15 PM
To: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
Cc: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang@ietf.org; ccamp-chairs@ietf.org; ccamp@ietf.org; luismiguel.contrerasmurillo@telefonica.com; luismiguel.contrerasmurillo@telefonica.com; antoine@aft.network
Subject: Éric Vyncke's No Objection on draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-25: (with COMMENT)

Éric Vyncke has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-25: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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# Éric Vyncke, INT AD, comments for draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-25

Thank you for the work put into this document.

Please find below some non-blocking COMMENT points (but replies would be
appreciated even if only for my own education), and some nits.

Special thanks to Luis Contreras for the shepherd's detailed write-up including
the WG consensus and the justification of the intended status.

Other thanks to Antoine Fressancourt, the Internet directorate reviewer (at my
request), please consider this int-dir review:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/review-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-25-intdir-telechat-fressancourt-2024-02-16/
(hoping to read soon replies to his review)

I hope that this review helps to improve the document,

Regards,

-éric

# COMMENTS (non-blocking)

## Ambiguous use of model

In several places in the I-D, 'model' is used when "data model" is more
accurate and less ambiguous.
[Haomian] ok, will update.

## Section 1

In `(i.e., reachability or TE information in remote customer sites)` should it
rather be 'e.g.' (== for example) ?
[Haomian] ok, will update.

## Section 1.1

Suggest to move the figure 1 *after* the text explaining it (as the text
expands some acronyms). No need to reply on this comment.
[Haomian] ok, will update.

## Section 2

Should leaf names "uni-id" and "service-id" simply be "id" ?
[Haomian] it's reasonable to simplify, but it may impact the consistency with other paragraph, for example the following:

The following data nodes and their entire subtrees are considered sensitive:
   UNI:
   - uni-id
   Service:
   - service-id
   - endpoint-id

I think changing 'uni-id' and 'service-id' to id will make the above statement more confusing. So, I would prefer to keep the 'uni-id' and 'service-id', since they are still friendly to readers. 

## Section 4

Rather than `L1CSM YANG Code`, why not "L1CSM YANG data model" ?
[Haomian] ok, will update.

# NITS (non-blocking / cosmetic)

## L1 or layer 1 ?

The I-D should be consistent and use either "L1" or "layer 1" rather than
alternating both terms.
[Haomian] ok, will update to Layer 1. But for some leaf nodes in the YANG&Tree, there can be some l1 such as prefix. 

## YANG in uppercase

Please ensure to use all uppercase "YANG" throughout this I-D.
[Haomian] ok, will update.


## Abstract

s/This document provides a YANG Layer 1 Connectivity Service Model/This
document provides a YANG *data model* Layer 1 Connectivity Service Model/
[Haomian] ok, will update.

s/This model can be utilized/This *data* model can be *utilised*/
[Haomian] ok, will update. 

s/Layer 1 network/layer-1 network/
[Haomian] I don't understand the reason for this proposal, see my point in the next comment as well. 

## Section 1

s/This document provides a YANG Layer 1/This document provides a YANG *data
model* *l*ayer 1/
[Haomian] ok, will add the 'data model'. However, the Layer 1 is now globally have upper case 'L', and is consistent with other document such as draft-ietf-ccamp-layer1-types. So I would suggest to keep it.