Re: [CCAMP] WG last call on draft-ietf-ccamp-flexigrid-yang-11

[Adrian Farrel <[e-mail]>]

Hi Daniele and authors,

 

Here is my review of this draft in WG last call.

 

tl;dr This is ready for publication with some nits that need to be

sorted out.

 

Best,

Adrian

 

===

 

Throughout:

 

Please resolve "Flexi-Grid" or "flexi-grid"

 

---

 

As a general comment, I think it was only clear to me on reading sections

6 and 7 that this YANG module is entirely made up of individual 

augmentations of leaf nodes defined in other modules. That's not a 

problem, but it might helpful to highlight this in Section 1.

 

---

 

Section 1

 

   This document identifies the flexi-grid components, parameters and

   their values, characterizes the features and the performances of the

   flexi-grid elements.

 

I think this should be

 

   This document identifies the flexi-grid components, parameters, and

   their values.  It characterizes the features and the performances of

   the flexi-grid elements.

 

---

 

Section 3

 

   RFC Editor Note: Please replace XXXX with the RFC numbers assigned to

   [RFC9093].  Please replace YYYY with the RFC number assigned to this

   document.  Please remove this note.

 

I suspect that the number for XXXX is 9093 :-)

 

Note, however, that in Section 7 you use XXXX for this document. It may

help the RFC editor if you are consistent.

 

---

 

Section 4

 

OLD

      We also provide nodes A

      and B identifiers, addresses and interfaces.

NEW

      We also provide the identifiers, addresses and interfaces of nodes

      A and B.

END

 

s/Figure 1 shows a simple topology./Figure 2 shows a simple topology./

 

---

 

5.1

 

s/This document aims to describe/This document describes/

s/Traffic-engineering (TE)/traffic engineering (TE)/

s/Grid provide WDM/Grid provides WDM/

s/Traffic Engineered (TE)/TE/

s/identities and groupings/identities, and groupings/

s/The figure below/Figure 3/

s/describing an Flexi-Grid/describing a Flexi-Grid/

s/specifies with/specifies the/

 

---

 

5.1

 

   The Flexi-Grid specific attributes in [RFC7699], including the grid

   type, channel spacing, slot width granularity, n and m parameters,

   can be used to represent the label information.

 

Perhaps I am being pedantic, but isn't the label a representation of 

those parameters, not the other way round?

 

---

 

5.2.  Attributes Augmentation

 

   There are a few characteristics augmenting to the generic TE

   topology.

 

I think, probably...

 

5.2.  Augmentations for Flexi-Grid Topology and Node

 

   There are a few augmentations to the generic TE topology as described

   in this section.

 

---

 

5.2

 

s/topology as follows./topology as shown in Figure 4./

s/is a Flexi-Grid node/is a Flexi-Grid node as shown in Figure 5./

 

---

 

5.3

 

/layer0/Layer 0/

s/to describe also/to also describe/

 

---

 

Section 5.3 contains a little surprise. "Here are the bandwidth 

augmentations: there are n bandwidth augmentations."

 

Perhaps resolve this by adding a paragraph at the very top of the 

section to say...

 

   No bandwidth augmentations are needed for this YANG module.

 

Then the rest of the section will appear as an explanation.

 

---

 

5.4

 

   The model augments all the occurrences of the label-restriction list

   with flexi-grid technology specific attributes using the flexi-grid-

   label-range-info grouping defined in [RFC9093].

 

Can you add a reference for where the label-restriction list is 

defined. I think it is RFC 8795.

 

---

 

7.

 

   module ietf-flexi-grid-topology {

     description

       "This module provides a YANG data model for the routing and

        wavelength assignment (RWA) Traffic Engineering (TE)

        topology in flexi-grid optical networks. The YANG model

        described in this document is a flexi-grid technology-specific

        YANG model augmenting the generic TE topology module

        (ietf-te-topology, RFC 9795) based on the RFC 7698 and 7699.

 

s/based on the RFC 7698 and 7699./based on RFC 7698 and RFC 7699./

 

---

 

7.

 

Obviously, the copyright date is broken in the YANG

 

From: CCAMP <[e-mail]> On Behalf Of Daniele Ceccarelli
Sent: 17 December 2021 14:50
To: CCAMP <[e-mail]>
Subject: [CCAMP] WG last call on draft-ietf-ccamp-flexigrid-yang-11

 

CCAMP,

 

the IPR declaration collection has been successfully completed and we can
move to the next step. Given the upcoming holiday period we'll allow for a
longer last call.

 

This starts a 4 weeks working group last call on
draft-ietf-ccamp-flexigrid-yang-11

The last call ends on Friday January 14th. Please send you comments to the
CCAMP mailing list.

 

All the IPR declarations from authors and contributors have been collected
and can be found in the history of the document
(https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ccamp-flexigrid-yang/history/)

If interested, please volunteer to be the shepherd of the draft (authors
excluded).

 

 

Thanks

Daniele & Fatai