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Re: [Gen-art] Gem-Art review for draft-ietf-httpauth-scram-auth-14

"Ralph Droms (rdroms)" <rdroms@cisco.com> Wed, 16 December 2015 16:19 UTC

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From: "Ralph Droms (rdroms)" <rdroms@cisco.com>
To: Alexey Melnikov <alexey.melnikov@isode.com>
Thread-Topic: [Gen-art] Gem-Art review for draft-ietf-httpauth-scram-auth-14
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Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 16:19:31 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gem-Art review for draft-ietf-httpauth-scram-auth-14
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> On Dec 16, 2015, at 10:47 AM 12/16/15, Alexey Melnikov <alexey.melnikov@isode.com> wrote:
> 
> Hi Ralph,
> Thank you for your review. Sorry I missed it earlier.

You're welcome.  Looks like we have agreement on my editorial comments and suggestions.  Will the edits you mention below appear in rev -15?

- Ralph

> 
> On 09/12/2015 20:47, Ralph Droms (rdroms) wrote:
>> Nits/editorial comments:
>> 
>> Nicely written, very clear document.
> Thank you.
>> idnits reports some lines too long and an unused reference.
> I fixed the reference in my copy. I hope RFC Editor can help with lines which are too long.
>> In the third paragraph of the Introduction, I suggest removing the parentheses and editing the second sentence for clarity; specifically, what is "SCRAM data"?
> I meant SCRAM requests and responses.
>> You could probably omit the parentheses in the second paragraph of Setion 3, as well, I'm likely just arguing style.
> Barry picked on this as well, so this was rewritten for clarity.
>> The last sentence of the last paragraph of sectino 3 was unclear to me: which messages are referred to?
> Message is the same as 'decoded "data" attribute' in the previous sentence. I clarified that.
>> I think, in the phrase "fail the authentication" in the fifth paragraph of section 8, you are using "fail" as a transitive verb, as in "the client considers the authentication of the message to have failed"
> ... and does whatever is appropriate in this case. Which might be closing the connection, retrying or trying another (non SCRAM) mechanism.
>> .  If I have that write, I suggest rewriting the containing sentence to improve the clarity.
> 
> Best Regards,
> Alexey
> 
>

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