Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-18

Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com> Tue, 21 March 2017 23:24 UTC

From: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>
To: Sean Turner <sean@sn3rd.com>
CC: "draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview.all@tools.ietf.org>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-18
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Date: Tue, 21 Mar 2017 23:24:19 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-18
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Hi,
  Thank you.

Best,
Meral

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Sean Turner [mailto:sean@sn3rd.com]
> Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2017 3:12 PM
> To: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>
> Cc: draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview.all@tools.ietf.org; gen-art@ietf.org
> Subject: Re: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-18
> 
> 
> > On Mar 16, 2017, at 20:43, Meral Shirazipour
> <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com> wrote:
> >
> > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the
> IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last
> call comments.
> > For more information, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> >
> >
> > Document: draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-18
> > Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
> > Review Date: 2017-03-16
> > IETF LC End Date:   2017-03-20
> > IESG Telechat date: 2017-04-13
> >
> >
> > Summary:
> > This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC but I have
> comments.
> 
> Harald and I (the shepherd) thank you for your review.
> 
> > Major issues:
> > Minor issues:
> > Nits/editorial comments:
> > -[Page 3] "an other hardware has"---->"and other hardware have”
> fixed
> > -[Page 4], the word "subprotocol" was not clear to me. Would it be possible
> to add in parenthesis a few example for protocol and subprotocol?
> Mostly talking about Websockets-related sub-protocols. XMPP and SIP are
> examples noted later.
> > -[Page 4], "an WebRTC"--->""a WebRTC”
> fixed
> > -[Page 7], "Interactive Connectivty"--->"Interactive Connectivity”
> fixed
> > -General: please spell out acronyms at first use
> I caught a couple, but I’m sure I missed some.  I figured I let some go like
> “SDP Agent” in the terminology section because people can just as easily go
> there.  There’s also a lot in the RFC acronym list that don’t necessarily need
> to be expanded.
> > -General: the writing (or perhaps lack of punctuation) in this draft made it
> hard to read. Please consider reviewing it especially if the draft is intended as
> Standards Track.
> I’m going to leave this one to the RFC editor.  Every time I try to make
> something sound better they just do a better job.
> 
> PR can be found here:
> https://github.com/rtcweb-wg/rtcweb-overview/pull/13/
> 
> spt

Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-i… Alissa Cooper
[Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-… Meral Shirazipour
Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-i… Sean Turner
Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-i… Meral Shirazipour