Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-failover-protocol-04

Thanks for your review, Christer!

Authors, can you make a note of the editorials?

Jari

On 01 Feb 2017, at 21:57, Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com> wrote:

> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Document:                                      draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-failover-protocol-04.txt
> Reviewer:                                        Christer Holmberg
> Review Date:                                  01.02.2017
> IETF LC End Date:                          19.01.2017
> IESG Telechat date: (if known)    02.02.2017
> 
> Summary:                                       The document is almost ready for publication, but there are some editorial nits that I’d like the authors to address.
> 
> Major issues:                                 None
> 
> Minor issues:                                 None
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> 
> INTRODUCTION:
> 
> Q1:        In the first sentence of the Introduction, I suggest to say:
> 
> “The failover protocol defined in this document provides…”
> 
> Otherwise it’s a little unclear what failover protocol you are talking about.
> 
> Q2:        In the Introduction, before the first sentence, shouldn’t there be some background text, including some information about the problem that the document solves. I know there is something in the Abstract, but I think there should also be something in the Introduction, before jumping into the solution.
> 
> Q3:        In the Introduction, I suggest adding a reference to the first occurrences of “DHCP service” and “DHCP server”.
> 
> Q4:        In the Introduction, you switch between “This protocol” and “The failover protocol”. Please use consistent terminology. This applies to the document in general.
> 
> SECTION 4:
> 
> Q5:        In the Abstract and Introduction it is said that DHCPv6 does not provide server redundancy. Then section 4 talks about failover concepts and mechanism.
> 
> Are those concepts something used for DHCPv6 today, but for some reason do not fulfil the failover protocol requirements?
> 
> OR, are these general concepts that will be supported by implementing the failover protocol?
> 
> I think it would be good to have an introduction statement clarifying that.
> 
> 
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Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-failover-protocol-04

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