Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-alto-server-discovery-08

[Sebastian Kiesel <[e-mail]>]

Martin,
Meral,

these comments have already been addressed in the -09 version,

Meral, thanks for raising these issues and sorry that I forgot
an explicit acknowlegment.

Sebastian


On Thu, Aug 29, 2013 at 11:31:48AM +0200, Martin Stiemerling wrote:
> Hi Meral,
> 
> Thanks for your review and we will address your editorials in the
> next update coming soon.
> 
>   Martin
> 
> On 06/21/2013 07:54 AM, Meral Shirazipour wrote:
> >I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> >Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> >http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq  .
> >
> >Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> >you may receive.
> >
> >Document: draft-ietf-alto-server-discovery-08
> >
> >Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
> >
> >Review Date: 2013-06-20
> >
> >IETF LC End Date: 2013-06-20
> >
> >IESG Telechat date: NA
> >
> >Summary:
> >
> >This draft is almost ready to be published as Standards Track RFC but I
> >do have some comments.
> >
> >Nits/editorial comments:
> >
> >-[Page 4], 2nd line before last, "funcional"--typo-->"functional"
> >
> >-[Page 5], Section 2, Point 2, "neccessary"--typo-->"necessary"
> >
> >-[Page 5], 2nd paragraph before last, "whishes"--typo-->"wishes"
> >
> >-[Page 5], last paragraph, "neccessarily"--typo-->"necessarily"
> >
> >-[Page 6], Section 3.1.1.
> >
> >"If DHCP-based discovery succeeds the software SHOULD inform the user
> >that the user input has been ignored and replaced by information
> >retrieved from the network."
> >
> >Suggestion to put "," after "If DHCP-based discovery succeeds".
> >
> >-[Page 8], Section 4, line 3, "mobilility"--typo-->"mobility"
> >
> >-[Page 8], Section 4, paragraph 2, "familly"--typo-->"family"
> >
> >-[Page 8], Section 4, paragraph 2, "familiy"--typo-->"family"
> >
> >-[Page 9], last line, "corrsponding"--typo-->"corresponding"
> >
> >-[Page 11], paragraph 3, "anormalities"--typo-->"abnormalities"
> >
> >-[page 12]
> >
> >"The security aspects of obtaining the domain name that is used for
> >input to the U-NAPTR process is described in respective documents, such
> >as [RFC5986]."
> >
> >Refers to more than one documents but only lists RFC5986. It would be
> >better to either list the other documents or say "described in [RFC5986]."
> >
> >-[Page 13], Section 7.2, Ref. [I-D.ietf-alto-protocol] points to older
> >version.
> >
> >-[Page 13], Section 7.2, Ref. [I-D.kist-alto-3pdisc] points to older
> >version.
> >
> >-General, please consider spelling out acronyms when first used. Also
> >using a common way (first letters capital or not):
> >
> >"network address translation (NAT)" versus "Virtual Private Network (VPN)"
> >
> >Best Regards,
> >
> >Meral
> >
> >---
> >
> >Meral Shirazipour
> >
> >Ericsson
> >
> >Research
> >
> >www.ericsson.com
> >
> 
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