[Gen-art] review of draft-hoffman-taobis-06.txt

Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@point6.net> Sun, 23 April 2006 15:31 UTC

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From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@point6.net>
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Date: Sun, 23 Apr 2006 17:31:48 +0200
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Cc: Susan Harris <srh@merit.edu>, Paul Hoffman / VPNC <paul.hoffman@vpnc.org>
Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-hoffman-taobis-06.txt
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Summary: ready

Some small editorial stuff (should be fixed at AUTH48 or by the RFC editor):
 - 3 page 6: see [BCP95] -> see BCP 95 [BCP95]
 - 3 page 7: is comes -> either "is" or "comes", "is" seems more correct
 - 3 page 7 (suggestion): you'll be badly -> you could be badly
 - 5.2 page 25: @rooms.jabber.ietf.org (the name recently changed)
 - 8.3 page 32 (suggestion): keep the BCP 9 quote as a quote
 - 8.3.1 page 33 (suggestion): put the 5th item of the list of four
   after the list.
 - 11 page 46: Section 8.4.5 -> Section 8.4.4 (suggestion: use an internal
   citation, and add the same fix to RFC 3160 errata)
 - B page 52 (uncommon English): the IETF "tick"
 - B3 P11 page 53 (wording): Absent -> With Absent
 - B5 P23 page 54: quality and correctness => plural?
 - B5 P25 page 54: doesn't -> does not

Regards

Francis.Dupont@point6.net

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