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Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-hakala-urn-nbn-rfc3188bis-00

Peter Saint-Andre <stpeter@stpeter.im> Mon, 04 June 2018 14:47 UTC

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To: Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com>, gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: draft-hakala-urn-nbn-rfc3188bis.all@ietf.org
References: <152519972821.24804.13749609226427815361@ietfa.amsl.com>
From: Peter Saint-Andre <stpeter@stpeter.im>
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Date: Mon, 04 Jun 2018 08:47:17 -0600
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-hakala-urn-nbn-rfc3188bis-00
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Robert, some fixes were posted over the weekend - if you have a chance,
please check the diff here:

https://tools.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-hakala-urn-nbn-rfc3188bis-01.txt

Thanks!

Peter

On 5/1/18 12:35 PM, Robert Sparks wrote:
> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
> Review result: Ready with Issues
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Document: draft-hakala-urn-nbn-rfc3188bis-00
> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
> Review Date: 2018-05-01
> IETF LC End Date: 2018-05-21
> IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
> 
> Summary: Almost ready for publication as an Information RFC but with issues
> that need to be addressed before publication.
> 
> Why is there no shepherd's writeup? It would be good to explicitly let the
> community know why this is proceeding as an individual draft.  
> 
> Issues:
> 
> The document uses 2119 in some inappropriate ways. It's fine to use 2119 terms
> when defining how to construct NBN URNs. It's not ok to use them in places like
> "the national library MUST", and "A national library ...  SHOULD specify ... a
> policy" and "libraries MUST agree". Please find a way to say that if a national
> library wants things to work, they will or should do these things.
> 
> While I agree with the values expressed, it seems odd for the URN registration
> to try to put constraints on fees that a national library might collect 
> (especially using a 2119 SHOULD).
> 
> Nits/editorial comments: 
> 
> The section calling out this draft replaces 
> draft-ietf-urnbis-rfc3188bis-nbn-urn should be removed (its enough to add
> RFC editor instructions to the draft or to the ballot writeup).
> 
> "identifiers identifiers" occurs in the second paragraph on page 4.
> 
> The ABNF in "Declaration of syntactic structure of NSS part" needs to be
> reformatted to meet the RFC constraints on line length.
> 
> Consider "physical" instead of "hand-held" in the first paragraph of 3.1.
> A national library may choose to assign an NBN to something too large to pick
> up.
> 
> 
>

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