[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-homenet-hncp-09.txt

[Francis Dupont <[e-mail]>]

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
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Document: draft-ietf-homenet-hncp-09.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20151026
IETF LC End Date: 20151023
IESG Telechat date: 20151119

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:
 - ToC page 3 and D page 38: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
  (BTW usually the Acknowledgments section is a section, i.e., not
   an appendix)

 - 1 page 3: please introduce the HNCP abbrev

 - 1 page 4: lease introduce the DNCP abbrev

 - 5.1 page 9: please add the title of RFC 6092

 - 6.2 page 12: Announcements of individual external connections may consist
  (ambiguous "may": please change it for a synonym or a MAY)

 - 7.1 page 19: there are new (i.e., other than 4861 or 3315) ways
  to build not-temporary IPv6 addresses. Perhaps wording should be
  updated to include them? In doubt please contact Fernando Gont
  who is (co-)author of most of them.

 - 9 page 21: (=DTLS) -> (i.e., DTLS) or something more written...

 - 9 page 22: the Managed PSK TLV must generate -> MUST?

 - 9 page 22 last paragraph: this should be submitted to the security
  directorate to check if it is secured (IMHO it is) or if there is
  a better solution.

 - 10.1 page 22 and many other places: I deeply dislike the way open
  fields are displayed in your ASCII art.

 - 10.2.1.1 page 25: I have many concerns about "DNS Zone":
  * first it should be a DNS domain (note the term zone has a specific
    meaning for DNS)
  * it should be not compressed
  * it should be terminated by . (coded as an empty label).
  For the last 2 points 10.6 page 29 has them so a reference is enough.

 - 10.5 pages 28 and 29: 3 should -> SHOULD?

 - 12.1 page 33: (for your info) there is a secure DHCPv6 I-D under
  IESG review which should bring more security to DHCP (at least far
  better than current "authentication" which is both poor as a security
  point of view and deployed nowhere...

Regards

[e-mail]