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Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-mrt-06

"Mirja Kuehlewind (IETF)" <ietf@kuehlewind.net> Mon, 11 September 2017 11:39 UTC

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From: "Mirja Kuehlewind (IETF)" <ietf@kuehlewind.net>
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Date: Mon, 11 Sep 2017 13:38:53 +0200
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To: Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-mrt-06
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Thanks for the review and detailed read!

> Am 02.09.2017 um 03:14 schrieb Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>:
> 
> Reviewer: Peter Yee
> Review result: Ready with Issues
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-mrt-06
> Reviewer: Peter Yee
> Review Date: 2017-09-01
> IETF LC End Date: 2017-09-01
> IESG Telechat date: 2017-09-14
> 
> Summary:  The draft is ready for publication after correcting some minor issues.
> 
> Major issues:  None
> 
> Minor issues:
> 
> Page 3, section 3, IBR definition: the definition give here appears to be a
> duplicate of the one given for IN.  Copy the correct definition from RFC 7812
> instead.
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> 
> Page 3, section 1, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: append a comma after "e.g.".
> 
> Page 8, section 4.4., 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete duplicate "on".
> 
> Page 8, section 4.4, 2nd paragraph, 4th sentence: change comma after
> "computations" to a period.
> 
> Page 9, section 5.1.1, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: the construction
> "red(blue)" is used without defining what it means exactly.  From the context,
> it isn't quite "red or blue".  An explanation of the meaning of this
> construction should be given.  I'm assuming it means something like use "red"
> in the sentence in all cases or use use "blue", but don't mix them.  There's
> also red/blue used later in the document which muddies the point.
> 
> Page 10, 1st full paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "foll" to "follows:".
> 
> Page 11, section 5.2.2, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: delete the period after
> "A.1.7".
> 
> Page 12, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: consider deleting "how".
> 
> Page 13, 2nd paragraph after numbered list, 1st sentence: append "to" after
> "respect".
> 
> Section titles for 5.2, 5.3, and 7: append a space after "RFC" to separate it
> from the number.  The spaceless form should only be used for references
> enclosed in brackets.
> 
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